Category: Technology
Netflix to Extend Time Elapsed Before “Are You Still Watching?” Prompt
CALIFORNIA: Neil Hunt, Chief Product Officer for Netflix, announced today that the company would be increasing the amount of time a viewer must watch a show before the video service asks if they are, indeed, still watching. “In 103% of…
Brief Dating Site Blah Blah Whatever [Video]
Dating sites pride themselves on how complicated they are. This site breaks that mold by asking you to do less and less. “Almost nothing, really,” said Byron Dwight, CEO and actual site member. “Just a quick tl;dr of yourself and…
How Old is Too Old for an iPhone?
Oberlin, OH — Annabel Smith, local 2 year old, coos as she goes through her mother’s iPhone, the screen illuminating her round face. The iPhone is well equipped with several apps specifically for babies, such as Dora’s Ballet Adventure, and…
Pittsburgh PUC Halts Ride-Sharing At Kennywood
PITTSBURGH — Ruling that the threat to public safety is “theoretically a very real problem under the principles of String theory,” a two-judge panel has shut down ride-sharing at Kennywood park in West Mifflin. The ruling makes it illegal for…
“Drones May Not Attack Banks” says new U.S. Drone Czar
WASHINGTON – The newly appointed US Drone Czar announced today that attack drones operating on US soil may not attack US banks without prior approval of the Federal Reserve Bank. “Let me be clear,” stated General Quentin Easing, the new…
The Five Stages of NSA Surveillance Grief
If the recent leaks about the US government’s surveillance of all worldwide electronic communications have left you upset or confused, then you may be experiencing one of the five stages of NSA surveillance grief. Much like Kuebler-Ross’ Five Stages of…
HS Student Answers Every SAT Question w/ “Google”, Gets Perfect Score
HERMINIE, PA — Local High School Student Roger Burman recently scored a perfect 2400 on the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) after answering every question with the word, “Google,” sources report. According to English Teacher Frank Gimley, who proctored the exam,…
Scientists Find Water On Nearby Useless, Soda-less Planet
CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA. — Scientists with the NASA space program recently uncovered several million gallons of potable water — though no traces of carbonated liquid of any kind — on a large, nearby planet in what is being pronounced “a…
Prepare the Anti-Matter Beam
Those words are not coming from a Star Trek script, or a Sci-Fi movie, they are actually being given by the scientists of ASACUSA , a multi-disciplinary collaboration between CERN and Japan’s RIKEN research center. ASACUSA team leader, Yasunori Yamazaki…
78% of Radio Shack 1993 Catalog Is on Your Phone, but Better
I recently got to reminiscing of days gone by. When I was young, carefree, and studied the Radio Shack catalog even more religiously than religion, and I was religious. When I realized, all those gizmos and gadgets I so desperately…