This is a Parody of Don Mclean’s Classic American Pie. I wrote this during the financial crisis at the beginning of the Obama Administration. It’s interesting to look back at how much has changed, and yet, how little has changed. Same old divisive America. I will soon follow up with an updated version of this parody if you’d like. Let me know in the coments below.
Note from Wallace (editor):
I couldn’t find a non-pirated version of the original, so here is the best I could get. Hope some of you will still enjoy it!
Long, long time ago. I can still remember
The Revolution used to make me smile.
I knew that if we had our chance
That we could take this nation back
And maybe we could limp on for a while.
The PATRIOT act made me shiver
Our nation’s fate signed sealed delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
I wouldn’t take one more step.
I had the urge to run and hide
When they crumbled up our bill of rights
They’ll come and take you in the night
You’re jailed without a trial
So bye bye constitutional rights,
Searched my Chevy by the levee
Cause I fit the profile
The good old boys won’t need Miranda
If it’s he said, we said things will be fine.
This’ll be a thing we deny.
Did you read the tale of Lot
Can you relate to a vengeful God
If the Bible tells you so.
Do you believe in heaven’s role
Can repentance save your rotten soul?
Has your preacher gone and cast
The first stone.
Well I know that you’re not free from sin
Saw you last night dance with men.
Your true self you’ll refuse
All that guilt for loving a dude.
Just a phony mid aged
With a pink carnation and a rack of guns
Try and deny the life you want…
The gays, you’ll crucify
You started screaming
Why why do Americans try
Granting dandies and the trannies
All those freedoms and rights.
The good old boys believe that
The sacredness of marriage will died
Out sacred institution would die.
Now for ten years we been in a hole
Crashed planes fought back by lobbing
That’s not how it’s s’posed to be
When the Texan begged that we wait and see
It’s a joke, a folly on humanity
In a voice that was too sane for you and me.
And while our generals
Marked the ground
We gathered every
Torch in town
When congress had adjourned
Their verdict was absurd.
The generals led us in a march
The culprit vanished in the park
And we’ll burn crosses after dark.
“We’re justified. “
The bullets streaming
Why why must Americans die
Cause our Chevy’s running empty
And on empty we die
The good old boys in secret meetings conspire
Was it justice or just making a dime
Justice or just us on a ride.
Helter skelter an industrial smelter
Jobs moved out, filled all the homeless
Eight dollar wage
And higher tax.
We had to bail out all the Brass
The players vied for congress to pass
With investors on the sidelines with
The halftime show spelled
While our sponsors
Mutilate familiar tunes
The rebel bands of the past
Put their songs in ads
The players lied
Their pockets filled
The rest of us to Foot the bill
Were you appalled
When they revealed
To steal is not a crime
They started speaking
Lies, lies, to Americans lied
Bailed out Chevy failing Freddy
While we steady decline
The good old boys are drinking whiskey in style
On golden parachute they will glide.
A golden parachute and a smile
And there we were all in one place
A generation of rats enslaved
And we’re fine just to starve our kids
So come on, Jack be crippled,
Jack be sick.
Jacked off, on the internet because
Idleness is lonely without friends
And as I watched the news today
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
The way the reporters tell
A highly tainted tale.
As explained by stooges on the right
The Holy war they try and ignite
While the hippy liberals undermine
The boat is sinking
Bye bye Miss America died
Broken Chevy broken levees
And they funded us dry
The good old boys are drinking
Whiskey, they wine
While they bankrupt us with a failing SSI
Free Medicaid until the day that they die.
I met a girl who claimed she knew
That the government would see us thru
I didn’t smile I just walked away
Well I went down to my favorite store
Where I bought my music years before
But a sign there said the business moved away.
And in the streets more children sleep
Our Fathers lied
And our mothers drink
And not a word is spoken
Our vocal chords were broken.
And the three men I despise the most,
A father, son and a horny goat
They took our faith and left us broke
And blamed The other guy.
So dry, dry bleed America dry
Put a levy on your Chevy
For a comfortable life
The good old boys will drink their
Whiskey and die
Eating every single piece of the pie
Every piece of American pie.