Category: Entertainment
Ultrasound Shows Chelsea Clinton’s Unborn Child is a Conservative
(Great Falls, VA.) – To the horror of the entire Clinton clan, ultrasound results have proven that Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with a conservative child. The family was overjoyed at the initial news of the pregnancy but, upon learning of…
Harry Reid Takes on Bundy Family, Al says “Let’s Rock”
(Nevada) – Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has doubled down on his name calling by referring to the Bundy family as ‘domestic terrorists’ after the Bundy home became a lightning rod for controversy involving unpaid taxes. The situation began…
Alanis Morissette, Sarah Jessic Paker in Horse Alliance Leaked
The biggest name in 90s femimusic has been linked with the biggest name in subsription-only television faux drama. Akabus Morissette and Sarah Jessica Parker have not only come out as lebians, but as equine-Canadiamericans at that. In an announcement that…
Aretha Franklin Chills Satireverse
Damn. Those are some big mammies. We’re talking motor yacht and a snorkel. [SOURCE 1] and [SOURCE 2]. Some people just can’t take a joke… I don’t get this one. If anyone should feel slighted it’s LaBelle, who the article…
Millions Worldwide Mourn The End Of The Golden Age Of The Internet
It was a demise that many have seen coming for a long time. It is a tragedy whose full impact will not be noticed for a while to come. All things of great worth that are brought into this world…
Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain
Yeezus, master of all universes, creator of light and darkness which thrives upon us has blamed and punished the innocent Kanye West for criticizing him in a public ceremony after calling him a “no good, dirty piece of shit” and…
Cantankerous Collaborator Steven Colbert to Take Over for Lame Liberal Lefty Letterman
The ultimate traitor, Steven Colbert, has sold his soul and gone over to the dark side of the Force. In signing a deal with CBS, probably with a pinprick and a signature in blood, he has given up his proud…
Who Leaked Jennette McCurdy Nude Selfies? The Answer May Surprise You
Jennette McCurdy, the 21-year-old star of Nickelodeon’s Sam and Cat and iCarly is making headlines not fit for her Nickelodeon audience. Nudey headlines. Several more semi-nude selfies have been leaked to the media, and we do mean leaked. The glossy…
Millionaire Tricks CNN into Stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane
Dateline: ATLANTA—Elderly oddball millionaire, Huey Longbottom, shuns the internet and receives all of his news from CNN, but taking no interest in the missing Malaysian plane, which CNN has covered exhaustively for several weeks, Longbottom orchestrated several bizarre spectacles to…
Glossy News March Winners Announced
For reasons unknown, we’re still running the $250 satire contest for our writers. Here are your March winners. The Top Ten #10 – Facing Extinction, Olive Garden Traces Dinosaur’s Demise For Answers by FreeMann. Just goes to show that sometimes…