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Live at the Apollo Wins ‘Worst UK Television Programme Award.’

Live at the Apollo Wins ‘Worst UK Television Programme Award.’

T.V. stand up show ‘Live At The Apollo’ has picked up ‘The Worst UK TV Programme Award’ for 2017.

The show’s producer Rick Earle thanked the TV audience in his acceptance speech:

Ladies and gentleman, thank you so much for voting for us – I am truly honoured and humbled to receive such a coveted accolade.

My sincere condolences to runners up ‘Hollyoaks’ – your programme is unadulterated shit. Your actors and actresses are such a fine example of how you shouldn’t act. They make Dev from Coronation Street look like Laurence Olivier.

Well done for being nominated – ‘Murder She Wrote.’ Your programme is utter bollocks. The show’s premise that a mystery writer is a part-time homicide detective is ridiculous. So if my house is burgled do I call Enid Blyton?

I’d like to thank ‘Bargain Hunt’ for inspiring me to create a crap programme. Your format of inviting grown adults to wear blue and red t-shirts as representatives of their respective teams – as if they were school children, then force them to sell crumby items like a pair of mickey mouse slippers for twenty pound at an auction is humiliating and pathetic.

Most importantly I’d like to thank all our stand up comedians – your invaluable contribution is central to our non-success. A special mention for my closest friends on the show:

Sara Millican: as funny as a nuclear attack on a residential home with broken fire extinguishers.

Phil Jupitus: as funny as a killer bee attack in a hot air balloon.

And Marcus Brigstocke: as funny as a poisoned buffet with cutlery made from false teeth.

Thank you.

Image attribution:

By Spudgun67 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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Honest Adolph Serial: Useful Update

Honest Adolph Serial: Useful Update

UPDATE: I wrote this earlier today. But I have ended my technical difficulties, and have since found the novel! So please do feel free to read the next chapter that I am publishing now. I will, however, still provide some additional writing; even if it is not every day! Continue Reading

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David Blaine Trick Backfires on Live T.V.

David Blaine Trick Backfires on Live T.V.

Magician David Blaine has recently performed a new trick to a live T.V. audience; it has backfired disastrously! Continue Reading

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CNN Comes Out as Infotainment Outlet: “We Never Said We Were an ‘Information’ Source”

CNN Comes Out as Infotainment Outlet: “We Never Said We Were an ‘Information’ Source”

Classic middle class liberal establishment news network CNN has recently tried to defend its record in Beltway apologetics, anonymous-source-mongering, and ceaseless drum-banging.

Yes! You guessed it!

Have a look at our interview. Continue Reading

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Honest Adolph Serial Resumes Tomorrow

Honest Adolph Serial Resumes Tomorrow

Sincere apologies for the delay in relation to my novel. The next chapter will appear within 24 hours. Thank you for your patience!

UPDATE: 09 JULY 2017, 01 AM (UK TIME):

Sincere apologies; I’m having technical difficulties with the serial. More updates as we proceed. You will definitely see more in the next several days. Thank you for your patience.

Wallace

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Nastiest Trump Parodies: Part 2

Nastiest Trump Parodies: Part 2

Part 1 ended with some a parody of a famous movie about wacko far-right dictators.

On that note, another Downfall parody.

Untergang! …

As I believe our German friends call it.

Ach!

Ach!

Ach!

Ach!

Ach!

Ach!

 

Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Nastiest Trump Parodies: Part 1

Nastiest Trump Parodies: Part 1

Here some of the nastiest Trump-related song and video parodies I’ve found.

Firstly, Rocky Mountain Mike has a number of very pertinent songs.

Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd parodies first… Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Robin Thicke Creepalike Does New “Blurred Lines” Parody for ISIS

Robin Thicke Creepalike Does New “Blurred Lines” Parody for ISIS

Flashy man-crush-mongering pop legend Robin Thicke now has a new unofficial/unapproved Syrian body double, whose parody cover of Robin Thicke has proven mildly irritating to ISIS. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Writers Can’t Be Too Arrogant

Writers Can’t Be Too Arrogant

There are many exercises in humility, and some of us need them more than others. Joining the Liberal Democrats could be one; I bridle under discipline. One day, I would like to do some real ‘foot-work.’
Of course, mildly uncomfortable editorial changes are another. Continue Reading
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Twitter Auditing: A Tool for Serious Social Media People

Twitter Auditing: A Tool for Serious Social Media People

I recently did a Twitter audit for my @onetonguejohnny Twitter account.

Here’s what I found: Continue Reading

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Chapter 4: China Soars, While Freedom Roars (Honest Adolph Volume III)

Chapter 4: China Soars, While Freedom Roars (Honest Adolph Volume III)

A story with a story…

A flash-fiction within a chapter!

Here, we see my story ‘Spaceship Pingdeng’ (Spaceship Equality), previously published in George Donnelly’s anthology ‘Valiant, He Endured.’ 

But one of the Honest Adolph characters wrote it…

Continue Reading

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Chapter 3: Scrapbooks and Shredded Hearts (Honest Adolph Volume III)

Chapter 3: Scrapbooks and Shredded Hearts (Honest Adolph Volume III)

So here we are again with Deborah Willow!

Deborah meditates upon the beautiful poetry of Adolph Adams.

This poem, attributed here to Adolph, was previously published on the blog of Quaker Universalist.

The poem can be found, in context, in my beautiful poetry collection: The Braying Angel.   Continue Reading

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