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7 Ways to Make College Work Again

7 Ways to Make College Work Again

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Those with sharp eyes will notice Brian didn’t say ‘Make College Great Again,’ but ‘Make College Work Again.’

Just thought I’d point that out, because everyone is accused of being pro-Trump or pro-Hillary, or even a Bernie Bro, on the most utterly arbitrary of pretexts…

***

BRIAN’S DESCRIPTION: Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Poetry About, and Poetry By

Poetry About, and Poetry By

Tomorrow, we’ve got a great treat for you!

Stalwart Glossy News contributor rfreed has some Sarah Palin poems.

Have you ever thought about writing in the persona of someone else?

For satire, it’s one thing to write poems about someone.

But you can also write humorously in someone else’s (entirely fictionalized voice).

There are so many opportunities for this.

You can be Trump, and complain about how the pure evil bought & paid liberal MSM just burnt your toast and made sure you can’t get a mistress.

You can be the ISIS caliph, and sing the blues about how misunderstood you are, and show everyone your true gentle, sensitive soul of a poet.

You can be Putin, clarifying what you were doing in the bar in Moscow late 3 am when rumors started circulating. Nooooooo no drama! No-no-no-drama, drama!

But this is also a time-honored art form.

The scholar Benjamin Jowett taught at Oxford in the 19th century. The naughty rhyme ran as follows:

Here come I, my name is Jowett.
All there is to know I know it.
I am Master of this College,
What I don’t know isn’t knowledge!

So there you go!

What other examples of this kind of writing do you know?

What funny (or otherwise interesting) ‘poetry for’ do you know, and how does it stack up against the ‘poetry about’ the same figure?

And do you have some of your own?

Feel free to comment below; but if you want us to publish anything, please email wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

Thanks, and we hope some of you will have some great ideas!

Wallace

 

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber

Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Those interested in military history will find this fascinating.

Not many people reading will have found themselves behind the controls of a B-17 bomber.

Perhaps a few have.

Do you have any memories?

Was it a museum piece like this, or for real?

Feel free to comment below! Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

Madonna & Lady Gaga’s New Cult is Too Much, Even for Progressives

Madonna & Lady Gaga’s New Cult is Too Much, Even for Progressives

Madonna and Lady Gaga, frustrated at Pope Francis’ apparent failure to make headway against conservative cardinals, have decided to form their own Church, in order to restore the true authentic meaning of Catholicism.

The One True Catholic Church of the All Holy Spirit of Our Universal Cosmic Mother, or OTCCOTAHSOOUCM for short, is not a new invention, but the original version of Catholicism that the real Jesus actually taught. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

From Blair Effect to Cameron? How Long Before Dave Starts Making Helpful Public ‘Interventions?’

From Blair Effect to Cameron? How Long Before Dave Starts Making Helpful Public ‘Interventions?’

One of the most hilarious things on Twitter is the apparently non-satirical interventions Tony Blair makes in public life.

But it turns out brave Dave hasn’t exactly retired to have a wank in his yacht either! Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

Boys Beware – Actual anti-LGBT propaganda from 1961

Boys Beware – Actual anti-LGBT propaganda from 1961

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Brian has done a good public service by digging up this downright creepy moral panic video from 1961. This video is wrong on so many levels: conflating “homosexuality” with underage sex, medicalizing same-sex attraction, unnecessary fearmongering…

Ridiculous. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Tony Blair Book Dilemma

Tony Blair Book Dilemma

It’s really hard to know what section of the bookstore the Tony Blair autobiography belongs to.

Should we put it in:

The fiction section?

No, I guess that would be giving him a little too much credit!

True crime?
Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Ozzy Osborne’s Scandalous Public Toilet Incident

Ozzy Osborne’s Scandalous Public Toilet Incident

Birmingham’s most famous son, Ozzy Osbourne of Black Sabbath, has recently got caught with his pants down in a Birmingham public toilet.

Fans of George Michael will be relieved, however, to learn that all is not what it seems! Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Ever Notice How Evil “Revenge of the Nerds” was?

Ever Notice How Evil “Revenge of the Nerds” was?

I mean, it was really, really ugly. There was abuse, rampant phobias, and a lot of really ugly situations.

Luckily we can break it down in under 4-minutes, and with a vengeance. Please to enjoy and make your voice heard in the comments below.

Hate it? Give it a thumbs-down, that’s understandable. I’m sad you feel that way, since I spent so much time making this, but that’s okay too. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Don’t Ever Ever Use GoDaddy… They Do Some good, But Mostly Fraud?

Don’t Ever Ever Use GoDaddy… They Do Some good, But Mostly Fraud?

Ages ago I helped a friend make a website. Today I got a renewal notification. Apparently I’ve been paying for his site for years without noticing it. I called to shut it down, and they told me tough luck. Nope, I’m required to keep paying for it just because.

Just to be clear, GoDaddy is a fraud organization on par with AT&T or AOL back in the day, where they’d make it impossible for you to stop getting billed. Same thing. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Internets Tubes, Technology0 Comments

Justin Bieber to Replace AC/DC’s Phil Rudd

Justin Bieber to Replace AC/DC’s Phil Rudd

AC/DC’s Phil Rudd is currently under house arrest for drug related criminal incidents. But it seems unlikely his fellow moshers will be keeping a seat warm for him.

Justin Bieber’s stellar solo career is about to come to an end! But don’t cry, things are going to get even better for the music scene. Justin Bieber is going to become the new chief singer of AC/DC! Not only that: lead singer Brian Johnson is about to step down.

Oh, my gosh!

Gushes Brian: Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Amsterdam Infomercials on TV at Night are Just… Wow

Amsterdam Infomercials on TV at Night are Just… Wow

Returned from my Amsterdam trip last week and oh boy the things I learned.

Apparently in the US, unbridled violence is just fine, while the vaguest hints of breasts are completely unacceptable.

It’s a pretty weird dichotomy, but apparently, this is just how us Americans roll. Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, Video News3 Comments

Glossy News Podcast — 073 (April 1st, 2017)

Glossy News Podcast — 073 (April 1st, 2017)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back with a whole new bunch of crazy, fun stuff for 2017.

* My six year old decided to give up on his dreams of being a cop in favor of being a software (game) programmer. No, he made this choice because his MUCH older brother Brendan wants to make video games, and he wants to be with him. Very touching stuff.

* Can I get to a million views in 2017? I’m quite a bit off pace, but it’s still within the realm of possibility? Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Glossy News Emailing List

Glossy News Emailing List

We’re currently compiling a mailing list for Glossy News. This is ‘opt-in’ only, rather than ‘opt out,’ because this way is more ethical.

Whether or not you’ve had any dealings with us in the past, if you’d like to be added, please send an email to wallacerunnymede@gmail.com.

Or if you’re really pushed for time, just send a blank email with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line.

We hope you will all enjoy following us! Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Top Stories0 Comments

Here Come the Trots: The Best Trotskyite Chat-Up Lines for Discerning Middle-Class Bachelors

Here Come the Trots: The Best Trotskyite Chat-Up Lines for Discerning Middle-Class Bachelors

Everybody loves a good Trot.

These lovers have got it all:

Sobriety, solemnity, petit-bourgeois decency, and best of all…

An utter crapload of unrelieved sexual frustration!

I coulda said ‘planet-sized intellect’ too, but…

Nah!

Have a go with these and see how much progress you actually make…

Who’s hot to Trot?

And who do women need like a hole in the head? Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Top Stories0 Comments

What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (2/2)

What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (2/2)

TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES

 

Contestants will don the uniform of their countries secret police to torment detainees, both legitimate and innocent, for information.

The players will be judged on both the quality of the information acquired and the inventiveness of the techniques used to get that information. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Top Stories0 Comments

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