Category: Celebrity Gossip
Kelly Clarkson Wants to be First Annoying US President
It had to happen one day… We’ve already had the “First Black President” (a white saxophone player from Arkansas), we’ve had an ACTUAL First Black President, and there’s been talk of Hillary Clinton being the First Female President. I mean,…
WTF? Crazy Dalai Lama Claims War Crimes Are Purely a Matter of Context!
Everybody knows that unlike all the so-called “Abrahamic Religions” like Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Baha’i, Rastafarianism, etc., Buddhism is in a class of its own. But why? Obviously, because people belonging to all other religions have practiced patriarchy, homophobia, racism, and…
‘What Dreams Shall Come’ – A Spoof Tribute To Robin Williams
Suicides where always a pain for Detective Malny. Always ugly. Always depressing, although he never let that show. This one especially. Robin Williams. One of the most famous comics ever. The guy who always made people laugh. Found hanging by…
Man Buys First CD in 12-Years; It’s Macklemore
Mock as you will, but first consider that the man in question is me, and I literally haven’t bought a CD in 12 years. Why the hell would I? I’m not saying I’m a pirate, because I’m not. Perhaps I’ve…
Billionaire Fantasizes About Teleporting, Reading Minds
REDWOOD CITY, CA — While waiting for board members of his multinational corporation to convene, Oracle founder Larry Ellison reportedly daydreamed about possessing superpowers. “Can you imagine how amazing it would be to teleport anywhere with a single thought?” mused…
Tech N9ne gets Shady, Leaves Strange
After 16 years of being strange to the hip hop scene Kansas City, MO rapper Tech N9ne leaves the label he created. Tech, whose real name is Aaron Yates has sold over two million albums and has had his music…
Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon
Middletown, NJ – Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, who gained notoriety on MTV’s classy show Jersey Shore, was arrested for fighting with his own brother at a local tanning salon that the pair own together. Apparently, the double douchebags came to…
Seth MacFarlane’s Penis Found Dead
Seth MacFarlane, creator of such ground-breaking animated hits as “Family Guy” and “American Dad” discovered his own badly decomposed penis dead in a ravine in rural Arizona. MacFarlane had reported his penis missing a week earlier. He stumbled upon it…
Julianna Rose Maurielo, Stephanie from LazyTown, Dead of Apparent Suicide Overdose
Beloved and coveted former child actress and sex icon Julianna Rose Mauriello was found dead in her Bangkok apartment where she was staying while filming an upcoming feature. “Stephanie [from] LazyTown was on TV, I’m told,” said coroner Panupong Mantri….
Cooper Brand Pooper Scoopers are Super-Duper Cooper Scoopers
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania – Assisting residents in cleaning up the debris left behind from their crushed dreams of having locally born celebrity, Bradley Cooper, win an Academy Award are Cooper Industries’ pooper scoopers that have been flying off the shelves…