Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building

A Montana neo-Nazi extremist organization, The Color White, Inc., claimed responsibility earlier today for the recent bombing of a building in Colorado Springs, owned by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

The building, including the part rented to the popular barbershop Mr. G’s Hair Design Studios, suffered minor damage when a grenade detonated next to a portable kerosene tank, which did not explode during the attack.

Reports of a balding, 40 year-old white male named Bunjo Sproat, carrying a rocket-powered grenade launcher and hijacking a car to leave the scene, have not led to arrests. The only injury was to a customer’s bangs in the barbershop.

On Twitter today, The Color White, Inc., claimed that they were behind the attack.


“We find the advancements of non-whites despicable,” Head Ranger Larry Sanford said in a prepared statement on the group’s website. “Further, we find their advancement to be against our sincerely-held religious beliefs, and as a closely-held corporation like Hobby Lobby, we are entitled to Freely Exercise these beliefs, exempt from any contrary law.”

Prosecutors believe that the invocation of the infamous Hobby Lobby case, which ruled that corporations were people in that they could have religious beliefs protected by the First Amendment, will prevent them from filing any charges against The Color White, Inc.

“If it’s their religious belief, well, what can you do?” County prosecutor Nancy Klein said with a shrug. “If they believe – really, really believe – that your face is offensive to their religion, they can justifiably come into your house and shoot you dead, because that’s just their belief.”

Charges or no charges to the offended organization, Bubba Norris, head of the Colorado Springs chapter of the NAACP, held a rally on the damaged building’s front lawn, where he vowed to rebuild.

“I don’t understand why we can’t get along,” Norris stated. “We’re just trying to correct the wrongs and inequalities of the world in which we live.”

A couple of vocal counter-protestors disrupted the rally with cries of “Don’t step on our beliefs!” and “No tolerance for the intolerant!”

Not wanting to offend anyone, onlookers refused to confront the counter-protesters when they took the microphone, and the rally soon dispersed.

Author: Sean Myers

Sean Myers is a professional writer and legal blogger. He lives in upstate New York.

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