Author: Liberties-Taken
Critic Pans ‘True Grit’, Deported for Failure to Show Long-Form Birth Certificate
This normally quiet Midwestern town has been shaken to its foundation in recent days, due to the shocking news of a traitor at work among its peaceful, tree lined streets. At issue is Ms. Wanda Carlson’s latest writing in the…
Earmarks Replaced by Posthumous Pardons; Many Dead Delighted
“It was going to be a discontented winter, but now it looks like glorious summer” said incoming Congressman Richard Plantagenet on the new GOP voter outreach plan. Speaking from his house in York, PA this week, the Tea Party favorite…
Media Boycotts Year in Review Stories, “It wasn’t that memorable a year”
In a rare show of solidarity, all news outlets have agreed to cancel ‘Year in Review’ retrospectives for 2010. The late December fluff pieces have long been a staple of American journalism, due in large part to the low skill…
Jailed Chinese Dissident on Nobel Prize: Thanx F-ing Loads
The Western world was excited this week at news the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to imprisoned Chinese democracy advocate Xi Liang Jing. Media watchers are in consensus on the surprising development. If not for the unfortunately timed…
Investigation of Elizabeth Edwards Death Announced
Senator Denton R. Fender (R-TX) this week revealed hearings will begin in January regarding the suspicious death of Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former Presidential hopeful John Edwards. The press release hints at a scandal so diabolical, DC pundits are already…
Miley Cyrus Bongs are a Hit This Christmas
In this era of economic uncertainty, it’s easy to forget that millionaire child traffickers have it rough sometimes too. So the struggles of Miley Cyrus, Inc. have been a sadly ignored story, supplanted in the news by stuff about families…
DREAM Act may signal Acronym Deficit
Washington DC is filled with unelected bureaucrats who wield powerful influence behind the scenes, far away from cameras. Glossy News sat down this week with one such powerful, unelected face, retiring Senate Marketing Liaison Bob Barnum. The garrulous, gregarious Barnum…
New Wikileaks Revelations are Worst Yet
It now appears to observers that Wikileaks is a powerful and permanent force in world affairs. The apprehension of founder Julian Asshinge has become a call to arms for hundreds of anonymous kindred spirits. The bell has tolled on the…
Thanksgiving Over; Needy Back in Storage
Preliminary reports say this year’s Project ISFC exceeded all expectations. Project I’m So Freaking Compassionate, begun several years ago in Southern California, has now expanded to most of the United States. This year, Thanksgiving meals were served cafeteria fashion to…
So. Cal Mystery Missile Tale Takes New Turn
It began with video from a California news helicopter. A rapidly ascending object is seen leaving a con trail against the backdrop of a beautiful sunset, several miles offshore. Rampant speculation followed, amid Pentagon denials of any ‘Area 51’ type…