Forgotten Gods Seize Egypt

Just as nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, few outside the cast of History Channel’s popular ‘Ancient Aliens’ program foresaw this week’s developments. Much to the surprise of the Muslim brotherhood, it appears Osiris, Isis, Horus, Anubis, and a host of lesser ancient deities are in fact real. It appears that way because they appeared, in Tahrir Square in conjunction with the lunar perigee. Sources close to the story say it came as quite a shock, especially to the Jihad community. Read more Forgotten Gods Seize Egypt

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Fashion’s New Passion: Flag Apparel

Considered the retail clothier’s equivalent of a Bilderberg conference, the Miami Youth Casual Apparel show has long drawn attention without producing fashion headlines. A party atmosphere combines with paparazzi, cutting edge designers and models that appear to have never seen a cheeseburger. Everyone says it’s fun to be at the MYCA. But beyond gossip columns, little real news is generated. Read more Fashion’s New Passion: Flag Apparel

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Porn Industry Backs Obama Re-election

Anita Bryce-Flaverhaven is a petite woman many would describe as soft-spoken. She sits behind a walnut desk in an office among the skyscrapers that comprise the Sacramento skyline. All around her are mementos denoting a vibrant family life away from work. Photos of rafting trips on the Colorado, birthday parties, and hand drawn Mother’s Day cards adorn the walls. Read more Porn Industry Backs Obama Re-election

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Study Links Decline to Spare Tire Trend

As Physicists huddle underground in super collider facilities, much of the world is fascinated with the quest for the elusive Higgs Boson particle. Current scientific consensus believes the Higgs Boson may play a role in defining gravity, based on the work of highly controversial String theorists and several rejected scripts from the popular CBS show “Big Bang Theory.” Read more Study Links Decline to Spare Tire Trend

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Bigfoot Saves Man from Chupacabra

Spanish Forks, Idaho has long been famous for trout fishing and scenic mountain vistas. Many in this small town now wonder if that has changed forever, given recent events. Accounts differ, but most agree it began with local man Al Gunderson arriving at the Tri-Cities Clinic in bloody tatters. Nurse Practitioner Nicole Lowell treated Gunderson for injuries she described as numerous but not life-threatening. Read more Bigfoot Saves Man from Chupacabra

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WikiLeaks Reveals Newt-Mitt Meeting Details

Normally talkative sources from campaigns Gingrich and Romney remain silent on a recent summit between the two bitter rivals. Characterized by both camps as more a social ‘let bygones be bygones’ affair, the meeting has left election watchers wondering whether more than genteel rapprochements were exchanged. Suggestions of a quite different meeting were revealed this week, via a totally unexpected source. Read more WikiLeaks Reveals Newt-Mitt Meeting Details

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PETA Launches Jackass Campaign

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) announced this week an ambitious new initiative aimed at changing the way people perceive mules. The program was announced by PETA spokesperson Barb Arians in an emotional, sometimes acrimonious press conference. “This represents a confident new direction for PETA. We’ve long focused on getting everybody to go vegetarian. That hasn’t worked out too well yet.” Read more PETA Launches Jackass Campaign

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