Posted in Music Strange People

Indiana Family Shocked to Find It’s Not 1987

GOSHEN – As most Americans were busy celebrating the coming of 2012 at midnight last night, the Albrecht family of Goshen, Indiana were surprised to find that they had not just ushered in the year 1987. Rocking away the night…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Society

Elderly Woman Sends Text Message

INDIANAPOLIS – An elderly woman became the talk of her family today after miraculously turning on a cellular phone and successfully typing, and then sending, a 23-word text message to her 18-year-old grandson. Maureen Hamilton, 84, is believed to have…

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Posted in Politics

Entire Population of Indiana Tired of This Sh*t

INDIANAPOLIS – Citing various factors, ranging from the lack of viable job opportunities to the general malaise of winter, the entire population of Indiana announced Saturday that it is so goddamn tired of this shit, adding: “really?”. Holy effing shart,…

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Posted in Politics

Drunken Governor Sells Indiana Back to Native Americans

INDIANAPOLIS – Calling it the most regrettable legislative decision of his career, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels – apparently under the influence of alcohol – agreed to sell the entire state of Indiana back to the Native Americans Saturday. According to…

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Posted in Health

Woman’s Weight Spirals Worryingly Under Control

YORKTOWN – During the post-Christmas period, friends and relatives of local woman Angela Hartman today noted how, in the last year, the 38-year-old’s weight has spiraled worryingly under control. Insisting that Miss Hartman “looks as if she hasn’t eaten in…

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Posted in Religionism Talky Pictures

God Getting Worryingly Into Disaster Movies

HEAVEN – In what proved a serious concern for the International Community Saturday, unconfirmed sources described how His Lordship Almighty God has “really been getting into the disaster movie genre recently,” adding: “He’s watched Twister, like, 8 times in the…

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