Adorable Indianapolis Desperately Trying to Convince Nation It a Major City

INDIANAPOLIS – As the Super Bowl nears its conclusion, the quite adorable city of Indianapolis is still desperately trying to convince the rest of the country that it is a major metropolis.

Pulling in thousands of football fans from the east coast, the cute little city has seen huge crowds in the city center over the last two weeks, something that city officials are reluctant to admit is actually something of a rarity.

“This is a great city and we’re very proud of where we’re headed,” said Mayor Greg Ballard, failing to acknowledge the usually quaint, if unremarkable personality of down town Indianapolis. “As you can see, everyone’s just having a great time.”

As the city’s Super Bowl Village illuminates an ordinarily low key area of Indianapolis, the nation’s media continues to capture deceptively flattering images of the city, with shots of pyrotechnics, vast crowds and talented street performers artfully making the city look more like Las Vegas than the drab capital city of Indiana.

“Indianapolis is a truly breathtaking city,” lied CNN news anchor Alicia Gaines. “And they’re all set to show the rest of the world how to host the Super Bowl.”

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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