ISIS: The Autistic Brother of Al-Qaeda

ISIS: The world’s number one autistic brainchild, the same one which refused to continue living with his older brother, Al-Qaeda, is now in some deep trouble with the United States and Russia.

After beheading a journalist in the lands of SandVillage, their only option for attention was death. Geez, talk about needy.

To make things worse, the group continued with a follow-up decapitation video personally sent to Prince Barack Obama of Nigeria. A representative of the White House spoke with the press regarding this issue stating:

“In all my years of hard work, I have never seen such a relationship between brother and autistic retard. It seems clear to us that the only way in re-uniting these two would be to take on the role of a mature and responsible leader, a leader whose job should solely focus on restoration. That role, you ask? It should be none more than the Catholic priest. By tempting the urges of our countries, the United States and Russia see no alternative than to double penetrate ISIS, providing pleasure and severe confusion. We shall give them their ‘Allahu Akbar’.”

Was this the work of a madman? Can a priest be capable of destroying a hole that small? The many questions left unanswered staggered many people. But, in the end, no one cared.

Back at SandVillage, the unibrow boys of the group were getting ready for yet another decapitation. It wasn’t a surprise, considering these people were obsessed with heads. Such big, fat and veiny heads.

But in all seriousness, will these two brothers be re-united? Will Putin finally come out of the closet? Will Prince Barack Obama of Nigeria finally be cured of the Ebola virus? Such questions will never be answered, for greater and important stories will surface such as leaked nudes or something like that.

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