Author: deeptrout
Philae Lander Voted “Bouncy House Of The Year”
Physics Today, the flagship journal of the American Institute of Physics, has announced the ESA Philae lander is the first winner in a new category in their annual awards for breakthroughs in physics, “Bouncy House Of The Year”. “This year…
CNN’s Anderson Cooper Interviews Donald Sterling
In his first public statements and media interview, Anderson Cooper sits down with LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling. Cooper – So Mr. Sterling, what do you think happened to Flight 370? Sterling – When I listen to that tape, I…
Lorde Accuses Papparazzo Of Taking Pictures Of Her In Public
Age ambiguous, teen pop music sensation Lorde, took to twitter this weekend to accuse a paparazzi photographer of maliciously taking photographs of her in public. “This man has been stalking me, photographing me in public and refusing me my God…
Japanese Accused of “Fat-Shaming” Godzilla, Warner Brothers of “Cultural Appropriation”
As the film Godzilla approaches it’s US May 16th debut, the grievance industry got started early when the internetz and blogosphere exploded late Friday after a new trailer of the movie was released by Warner Brothers. Japanese fan groups accused…
Clippers Owner Donald Sterling To Sell Team
At a press conference in Los Angeles this morning, Donald Sterling’s wife Roachelle claimed the NBA team would be sold in a matter of days. Sterling, 67, who changed his name from Tokowitz so his unique brand of bigotry and…
Privileged Teenager Survives Harrowing Plane Trip in Coach
A 16-year-old trust fund brat survived a frightening journey halfway across the Pacific Ocean on Sunday after climbing into the coach section of a Hawaiian Airlines jet flying from San Jose to Maui. The boy emerged unharmed despite uncomfortable temperatures,…
Aretha Franklin Chills Satireverse
Damn. Those are some big mammies. We’re talking motor yacht and a snorkel. [SOURCE 1] and [SOURCE 2]. Some people just can’t take a joke… I don’t get this one. If anyone should feel slighted it’s LaBelle, who the article…
Tiger Woods Unable To Play In Masters After Successful Penisectomy
Tiger Woods announced Tuesday that he has undergone a successful penisectomy for a vestigial weiner that has been haunting him for several years. The surgery was performed Monday in Park City, Utah, by neurosurgeon Dr. Charles Ima Richer. The procedure…
International MH370 Search Efforts To Be Unified Under “Operation Wild Goose”
Responding to criticism that search efforts for the ill fated Flight 370 have been unfocused, haphazard and confusing, United Nations Secretary-General Ban-ki-moon announced today that all future efforts will be directed by one authority under the title “Operation Wild Goose”.
US To Send Bullshit Detector To Malaysia
In the latest effort to uncover the fate of MH370, the United States has announced it will send a state of the art Bullshit Detector to Malaysia. “The BSD will be located adjacent to the Perdana Putra building, which houses…