Author: Brian White
Child Labor Now Used in Every Sector, Even Accounting (Video Exclusive)
There was a time when children were free to play in the fields they tilled, learn skills in the factories that employed them, or even frolic on the sets of such films as Home Alone and The Sixth Sense. The…
Hog Farmers Proudly Sell Parts Right to the Bitter, Musky Ends
Social media has blown up with images of an actual box of American made pork product, the “Boneless Pork Rectum, Inverted”. We take you inside this unusual treat. Boneless means without bone. Pork is the industry term for pig products….
Travelocity; Genius, Evil or Evil Genius? (We’ll find out Monday)
When I went to book my upcoming trip I found the best deal at Travelocity.com, but at what price? The answer may surprise you. It sure as hell surprised me, and perhaps not in the good way. I booked a…
Bill Kristol, Always Wrong, Moved to “More Appropriate” Weather Man Role
Outspoken pro-war pundit Bill Kristol is making headlines again for his unwavering support for military action in Iraq and the world at large. Facing pushback, The Weakly Standard has moved him to a more fitting role: Weather Man. “Look,” said…
First Nations Emboldened, Demand Red Sox Change Their Name
With the hurricane centered squarely upon the Washington Red Skins, some native American tribes have seen fit to target the Red Sox, declaring them a hate-group in thier own right. “I’ve watched the Red Sox play for years,” said Margery…
Fine, I’ll Break the News: Paul Dinello to Take Over Colbert Report
With Stephen Colbert leaving to fill the massive shoes of David Letterman on CBS, who will take over at 11:30 on Comedy Central? Paul Dinello, it is hoped. This news has not been official until now. No one else has…
Alanis Morissette, Sarah Jessic Paker in Horse Alliance Leaked
The biggest name in 90s femimusic has been linked with the biggest name in subsription-only television faux drama. Akabus Morissette and Sarah Jessica Parker have not only come out as lebians, but as equine-Canadiamericans at that. In an announcement that…
Koch Bros. Top $100 Billion, Dead Pharaohs Impressed
Charles and David Koch, best known for the purest grades of frack-water you drink and the mercury you breathe, have reportedly topped the $100 billion mark in net worth. Let’s break down how much money that really is. Clearly it’s…
Glossy News March Winners Announced
For reasons unknown, we’re still running the $250 satire contest for our writers. Here are your March winners. The Top Ten #10 – Facing Extinction, Olive Garden Traces Dinosaur’s Demise For Answers by FreeMann. Just goes to show that sometimes…
Mitch McConnell Ad Begs Mockery, Gets it in Spades #mcconnelling
The internet fad of the week is #mcconnelling, a little game contrived on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. McConnell released a blank stock video of himself so his SuperPAC could later pretend they didn’t ask for it, but now…