Search Results for: johnson
Boris Johnson Promises Brexit Boom: “We’ll Corner the Cocaine Industry!”
Compulsive Onanist and quasi-photogenic Eton fop Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson has finally managed to allay fears of a Brexit slump by investing in local industry, providing some helpful tax cuts to rich and poor alike, and looking out for…
Boris Johnson SUPER GAFFE! “Neo-Nazi Terrorists are a Terrible Drain on Our Prison System”
Fiscally responsible coke-ridden cockwomble Boris Johnson has furiously denounced Jeremy Corbyn’s ‘grossly opportunistic and uncompassionate‘ calls for a zero-tolerance approach to white supremacist terrorism.
BOJO OR BUST! Ultimate Boris Johnson Quiz: Who Said These Edgy Quotes???
It’s not a laughing matter…? Of course it is! EVERYTHING IS! 😛 … Or is it? Never mind! See how many you can get… Enjoy and share, if you want to make the Pig ‘n’ Coke club cry! The answer…
Boris Johnson in ‘Islamophobic’ EU Gaffe: Why Don’t We Just Try an Islamic Divorce?!
Scandal-plagued Brexit hardliner Boris Johnson has recently distanced himself from the even more scandal-plagued Theresa May, with a spiffing jape about how to really chuck Chequers.
Inflammatory Gary Johnson & Bill Weld Video: Secret Transcript Leak
Libertarian POTUS 2016 hopefuls Gary Johnson and Bill Weld have recently done a revamp of their recent edgy campaign video. This hilarious inept video makeover hasn’t been released yet; but the new video does contain the edgy guitar instrumentals of David…
Gary Johnson Ahead 99 pts Among Non-Voters
GlossyNews.com – OHIO – In a stunning revelation, Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson is leading the nation by 99 points among people who have not voted, will not vote, or for other legal reasons cannot vote. “So you mean this…
Blues Legend “Deaf Willie” Johnson Dies
HAZLEHURST, MS (GlossyNews) — Sources close to GlossyNews confirm that today one of the most influential voices in Delta Blues has gone to heaven. Or so we hope. The oldest child of sharecroppers Sam and Thelma Johnson, “Deaf Willie” never…
Marshal Earp Not OK with N.R.A. Promoting Tombstone Gun Violence
(Tombstone Epitaph, Arizona Territory – September, 1881, Edition) Deputy U.S. Marshal Virgil Earp, with brothers Wyatt and Morgan, expressed outrage about a recent Tombstone gathering featuring a National Rifle Association rep. The organization was chartered last decade in New York….
Community Stages Effort To Stop Alcoholic Tool & Die Maker From Exploring Vegan Lifestyle
Grant County, Wisconsin. Despite pleas from family and local community members who were tremendously concerned about his mental, emotional, and physical well-being, Craig Lane, 44, made the hard-core decision last Sunday to put an immediate end to his daily consumption of…
Lindsey Graham Indicted for Murder Conspiracy by Moscow Grand Jury
Moscow (TASS). In a shocking announcement, the Constitutional Court of Russia has handed down conspiracy to commit murder indictments against Senator Lindsey (“I am not defective”) Graham (R-SC) and co-conspirator Lev Parnas. The charges include threatening bodily harm…“The only way…