Year: 2019
I Thought These People Weren’t Supposed To Have A Sense Of Humor- Iran Has a Trump Cartoon Contest!
According to the Tehran Times over 1,600 entries were sent to the Iranian “International Trumpism Cartoon and Caricature Contest” this past week. Over 550 people from 75 countries sent in their creations all depicting President-Select Trump in various Twitter-worthy modes…
Iran to US: “Thanks for the New Drone Tech!”
Washington, DC- On Thursday evening, moments before he was to order an air strike against Iran, President Donald Trump received a letter of thanks from the President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani, for sharing the latest in American drone technology, after…
More Fucking LIES: President Denies His Re-Election Campaign Started in 2017!!!
Orlando, FL- The script read almost exactly the same… minus the “rapists.” The expired, irrelevant chants of “Lock her up,” rang out from the frenzied mob, blissfully unconcerned by the absolute silliness of the scene. They had waited for days…
Millennial Children Demand Parents Pay for Relocation As Tensions In the Gulf Grow
Salem, OR- As tensions between the United States and Iran continue to flare after the latest attack on an American drone, more and more millennial children are demanding that Mom and Dad pay to send them away before war is…
Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20
Washington, DC- On Thursday, Secretary of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin, announced he had scrapped plans to release an updated $20 bill featuring the likeness of famed American abolitionist Harriet Tubman, sighting security issues with the design. The new bill had…
WTF?! Trump Fox & “Fiends” Interview Goes Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!
Washington, DC- On Friday, during a wild interview with Fox and Fiends host Ainsley Earhardt, President Donald Trump openly challenged House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to begin Articles of Impeachment, repeatedly challenged the House Speaker’s “manhood,” discussed the Art of the…
FRIENDZONED! Loser Gove Homeless After Anti-Elitist ‘Business Experts’ Rant!
Unlawful north of the M1 Michael Howard hiss-a-like and non-porcine-coke-snorting metrosexual career shitstirrer Michael Gove has just had his hopes of a stellar career at the very pinnacle of the UK political class cruelly dashed, after yet another ill-advised rant…
T-Rex & Me: & a Naughty Missile Conspiracy in Iran!
NOTE FROM WALLACE: Glossy News (pop us a like here!) has been buzzing over the whole controversial missile attack that widely loathed ‘old school conservatives’ (neocon warmongers) Mike “Manky Mike” Pompeo and John “Armchair Johnny” Bolton are conveniently attributing to…
Dark Nigel Rises: A One Act Play About the Bane of Brexit!
FARAGE: Behind you stands a symbol of oppression. The House of Commons, where millions of citizens have languished under the name of this woman: Theresa May: who has been held up to you as the shining example of patriotism! You…
John Bolton Infallibly PROVES Iranian Tanker Conspiracy Theory!
Foamy-mouthed neoconservative intellectual and MIC-beloved establishment conspiracy theory John Bolton has come out fighting against allegations that the Iran ‘smoking gun’ is just another Blair-stylee WMD fraud!