Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20

Harriet Tubman note

Washington, DC- On Thursday, Secretary of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin, announced he had scrapped plans to release an updated $20 bill featuring the likeness of famed American abolitionist Harriet Tubman, sighting security issues with the design. The new bill had been commissioned by the Obama administration, and it’s release date was scheduled to coincide with the centennial celebration of the 19th Amendment, which granted women the right to vote in the United States.

Tubman, who was born a slave in Maryland, would escape to Philadelphia and join the Underground Railroad, helping to free at least 70 slaves in her time.  After the Civil War, she turned her attention towards the suffrage movement.  Tubman would have been the first woman, as well as the first African American to appear on paper American currency, and would have replaced Andrew Jackson as the face of the Twenty.

Jackson, the 7th President, is the founder of the Democratic Party.  He was one of the first Populist Presidents, and his hatred of Native Americans was world renowned.  During his term as President, Jackson actively sought policies meant to exacerbate an already fraught relationship between the U.S. Government and native tribal leaders. Coincidentally, President Trump has sighted Jackson as his favorite president, and often uses Jackson’s tribal policies as inspiration for his policies surrounding immigration.

When asked whether Trump’s affection for Jackson played into his decision, Mnuchin stated, “President Trump’s love for Andrew Jackson had no relevant bearing on this decision, nor does his disdain of woman and African Americans. Truth be told, we’ve known about this decision for quite some time. Shutting down the design was actually my first “official” act as Secretary. I understand how this might be a difficult thing for a number of people, but the administration wants everyone to know that we are not oblivious to the importance of the moment. The Treasury is currently hard at work focusing on a Limited Edition $20 that will be ready for next years centennial celebration. Unfortunately this bill will not feature Tubman, but rest assured that we will still feature a very prominent supporter of woman’s rights, perhaps the most celebrated of them all… President Donald Trump. The design will be released in the next couple of months. That is all I have to say at this time. Fuck you, have a nice day.”

This story is ongoing, and will be updated as more information is available.

Author: Fort Nag

Ft. Nag is a poet and speculative satirist who lives in Sacramento, CA. "Real News and Fake News have become interchangeable in our world today. This probably won't help. Sorry."