Archive | April, 2016

Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

John Kerry is a man of the world, but now his flip-flopping has soared astronomically, to the point where it’s on a genuinely cosmic scale.

Yes: no longer content with threatening the leaders of weak, divided countries in the Middle East with abject destruction, Kerry is turning his achingly dynamic turrets on a higher target:

Lord Xenu!

So, let’s see where we go with this one. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News1 Comment

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

Time to look back at an old piece of mine, and think about whether it’s just all about ‘way back then.’

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201505110348/london-riots-who-are-the-real-orwellians/

In scenes mirroring the previous general election, raving hordes of self-righteous middle-class career decents have taken to the streets to protest the “Orwellian” hung parliament. Apparently the number of people who were eligible to vote, and who didn’t, is in the ten percents, at least! Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

End of the Gay Dinosaurs: Fox News Steals the March on Glossy News

End of the Gay Dinosaurs: Fox News Steals the March on Glossy News

What do Fox News folks think about homosexuality and the end of the dinosaurs? Will male-on-male love bring about the end of the human species, just as it ended the reign of the dinosaurs?

Bill O’Reilly

Well, who’s to say? I don’t know. Maybe they just got gay-feminist-transdarwinist-cultural-marxist-crony-socialist-union-thug-gun-hating-dino-flu.

I mean, hell, I’m just throwing that one out there! I never said I had all the answers.

Glenn Beck

Continue Reading

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Posted in Science, Television0 Comments

“Crypto-Leftie Tabloids” Conspiracy Theory: John Gray & Richard Dawkins Respond

“Crypto-Leftie Tabloids” Conspiracy Theory: John Gray & Richard Dawkins Respond

A year ago, Glossy News recently gave you The Absolute Truth on how tabloid journalism in the UK works.

That’s right: my recent article on how “right-wing moral panic journalism” is actually a Trojan horse for “far-left-radical-deep-cover-subversion.”

Still, I thought I should ask a couple of scholars, because as is well enough known: Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Empire Danger, High Bombers (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six)

Empire Danger, High Bombers (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six)

Firebombs in Baghdad!

Fire in the Middle East!

 

Firebombs in Damascus!

Fire rages from the horny beast!

 

Don’t you want to know how to set kids on fire?

It’s my desire, I’m a Tory liar! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward famously sang ‘Don’t Let’s be Beastly to the Germans!’ As always, the dour and humorless were not impressed.

Yeah, Daily Mail link… I know! How things change in a few decades! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

In the past, I have been heavily critical of The Intercept, and of Glenn Greenwald’s stance on the Charlie Hebdo martyrs. However, I have noticed a pattern developing recently.

First of all, upon the renewal of the fatwa against Salman Rushdie (essentially a glorified hitman contract from God!), The Intercept did not blame Rushdie for ‘provoking’ his critics. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary0 Comments

4K Glossy News Podcast 040 (4-25-16)

4K Glossy News Podcast 040 (4-25-16)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with guest Jason Jones for most of the podcast.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the April 25th edition or the podcast:

* Wicked brilliant intro segment rudely interrupted by Jason Jones, who apparently was sitting next to me the whole time, butting in like a proper jackass, and only (apparently) because I told him to do so for comedic effect. What gives, right?

* Interview with a verified crack addict. He explains how Pac-Man led Gen-Xers to the rave scene and the many ways addiction lead to weight loss.

* The best and easiest way to pick up a second job in America.

* Why news teasers and local news stations are just plain terrible.

* Best songs to play at your funeral (Part One)

* Best songs to play at your funeral (Part Two)

Listen to it



Or you can download it by right-clicking and selecting “save as” right here. It’s also available on iTunes.

Watch it on YouTube



Follow me around the web:

iTunes (or search “Glossy News”)
Facebook.com/4KPodcast
Twitter – @4KPodcast
Reddit.com/r/GlossyPodcast
YouTube.com/glossynews
GlossyNews.com/podcast

Segment bumpers and background music by Greg the Hero Facebook.com/gregtheheromusic. Royalty Free Music “Your Call” “Music for a Funeral Part 11” and “Funkorama” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com.

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Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya’

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya’

Ted Cruz has recently given stuck it to the man over our trembling, weak-kneed bending over for the nefarious forces of Big Privacy.

His Most Exalted More True-Believe-ier Than Trumpness flashily remarks:

The war on surveillance is motivated purely by an ignoble politics of envy. The fact is, the guys we have monitoring your webcams have bigger dicks than you do; I think we can just take that one as given!

So if you want to squirm and slide around, or dick around (I hardly think it!), or even just go on a full-blown blazing rampage, and create some disreputable orgy of counter-conservative kiss-ass to your enemies, then be my guest! I can take it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Are You Boehmermann? Join The Spectator’s ‘Offensive Erdogan Poetry Competition’

Are You Boehmermann? Join The Spectator’s ‘Offensive Erdogan Poetry Competition’

The Spectator are holding an ‘Offensive Erdogan Poetry Competition!’ Douglas Murray aptly notes:

The very possibility of putting someone on trial for being rude about Erdogan is as illiberal or rather anti-liberal as these things come.  It will be hardly more of a relief if he is found ‘not guilty’ than if he is found ‘guilty’. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Germany’s Humorless Strong Leader Hits the Bunker

Germany’s Humorless Strong Leader Hits the Bunker

Angela Merkel isn’t having such a good time right now; the not-so-Iron Chancellor’s craven capitulation to Erdogan looks like it may backfire.

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/angela-merkel-s-fawning-over-erdogan-will-put-the-turkish-president-not-jan-b-hmermann-in-the-dock-a6988076.html

The article above refers to a previous precedent by the European Court of Human Rights as follows: Continue Reading

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Posted in Top Stories, World News0 Comments

4K Glossy News Podcast 039 (4-18-16)

4K Glossy News Podcast 039 (4-18-16)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with even more great insightful than ever.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the April 18th, (the actual) tax day edition.

* Billion Dollar Business idea… just name your company something that actually rhymes with “orange” and you’ll be set for life. Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Devastating Campaign Trail Interview: Hillary ‘Misspeaks’ Over Links to Wall Street

Devastating Campaign Trail Interview: Hillary ‘Misspeaks’ Over Links to Wall Street

Hillary Clinton is renowned for her talents in the highly competitive artistic fields of evasive and equivocal rhetoricmongering. How did she react recently when I grilled her about her ties to Wall Street?

Wall Street? Uh, excuse me, but we’re going to have to define our terms here. [Aside]: And by ‘we,’ I mean ‘me…’ ohhh, shit! It’s not really working this time, is it??

You know, all these big banks you are receiving money from?

Well, first of all, how do you define ‘big?’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else…”

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else…”

WASHINGTON – U.S. State Department spokesman Milo Minderbinder announced today that ISIS must sign the TTIP [Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership] treaty by year’s end “or else we will retaliate with extreme prejudice. All options are on the table!”
“Terrorist organizations that control substantial assets, such as oil, should not be exempt from TTIP just because they are not recognized nation-states. TTIP is about promoting free trade, a goal that I’m sure that terrorists who specialize in decapitation videos can appreciate,” Minderbinder stated. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Politics, War Zone0 Comments

4K Glossy News Podcast 038 (4-11-16) – Tax Day Edition

4K Glossy News Podcast 038 (4-11-16) – Tax Day Edition

The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with even more great insightful than ever.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the April 11th, tax day edition 2016 4K/UHD podcast.

* Tax Day public service announcement (PSA) about how to stay on top of your tax issues, and all the reasons you really, really need to do it.

* The study of what makes a good flag and the unveiling of the new, unofficial flag for the city of Seattle.

* Definitive proof that Facebook is a smart phone battery killer. Seriously, if you have problems with your smart phone battery, get rid of Facebook and Messenger (two separate apps!) to double or triple your battery life.

* Forget the Make-A-Wish Foundation. This new Keep-A-Wish Foundation will focus on kids who will also develop memories to last a lifetime, but specifically, lifetimes longer than a few weeks or months.

* Four ways to FAIL at silencing your phone in places where you’re supposed to be quiet and respectful.

* 4K/UHD review of 2016 film Eddie the Eagle starring Hugh Jackman and Taron Egerton. It’s a true-ish story and a wonderful film, with a few caveats.

* A quick explanation of the Panama Papers leak, why it might not be as bad as you think, and why it actually is. There are legit ways to do a shell corporation, but this isn’t it.

* If you’re sick of trying to talk reason to Trump supporters, have no fear, there is a solution. Just talk bullshit to them, as I have, and help them keep ratcheting up the crazy. They eat that stuff up like you wouldn’t believe.

Listen to it



Or you can download it by right-clicking and selecting “save as” right here. It’s also available on iTunes.

Watch it on YouTube



Follow me around the web:

iTunes (or search “Glossy News”)
Facebook.com/4KPodcast
Twitter – @4KPodcast
Reddit.com/r/GlossyPodcast
YouTube.com/glossynews
GlossyNews.com/podcast

Segment bumpers and background music by Greg the Hero Facebook.com/gregtheheromusic. Royalty Free Music “Your Call” and “Funkorama” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com.

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Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Careful About Brand Tarnishing: (Sci-fi Parodies Included)

Careful About Brand Tarnishing: (Sci-fi Parodies Included)

When it comes to using a brand name in a negative light, authors walk a very fine line. Brand “tarnishment” is vaguely analogous to defamation, and disparaging use of a brand name is often easier to find as publishing moves to the ebook and audiobook formats.

Read more on this topic from the following article I discovered:

http://www.thebookdesigner.com/2013/03/5-top-legal-issues/

This is quite an important thing for those of us who write satire or other fiction. But if, as the article above says, “Brand names should be reserved for describing that particular product or service offered by the company,” then, one might ask: how to avoid tarnishing trademarks? What other strategies are available?

The article gives one idea: Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

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