Archive | April, 2016

Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

John Kerry is a man of the world, but now his flip-flopping has soared astronomically, to the point where it’s on a genuinely cosmic scale.

Yes: no longer content with threatening the leaders of weak, divided countries in the Middle East with abject destruction, Kerry is turning his achingly dynamic turrets on a higher target:

Lord Xenu!

So, let’s see where we go with this one. Continue Reading

Posted in War Zone, World News1 Comment

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

Time to look back at an old piece of mine, and think about whether it’s just all about ‘way back then.’

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201505110348/london-riots-who-are-the-real-orwellians/

In scenes mirroring the previous general election, raving hordes of self-righteous middle-class career decents have taken to the streets to protest the “Orwellian” hung parliament. Apparently the number of people who were eligible to vote, and who didn’t, is in the ten percents, at least! Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

End of the Gay Dinosaurs: Fox News Steals the March on Glossy News!

End of the Gay Dinosaurs: Fox News Steals the March on Glossy News!

What do Fox News folks think about homosexuality and the end of the dinosaurs? Will male-on-male love bring about the end of the human species, just as it ended the reign of the dinosaurs?

Bill O’Reilly

Well, who’s to say? I don’t know. Maybe they just got gay-feminist-transdarwinist-cultural-marxist-crony-socialist-union-thug-gun-hating-dino-flu.

I mean, hell, I’m just throwing that one out there! I never said I had all the answers.

Glenn Beck

Continue Reading

Posted in Science, Television0 Comments

“Crypto-Leftie Tabloids” Conspiracy Theory: John Gray & Richard Dawkins Respond

“Crypto-Leftie Tabloids” Conspiracy Theory: John Gray & Richard Dawkins Respond

A year ago, Glossy News recently gave you The Absolute Truth on how tabloid journalism in the UK works.

That’s right: my recent article on how “right-wing moral panic journalism” is actually a Trojan horse for “far-left-radical-deep-cover-subversion.”

Still, I thought I should ask a couple of scholars, because as is well enough known: Continue Reading

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Firebombs in Baghdad!

Fire in the Middle East!

 

Firebombs in Damascus!

Fire rages from the horny beast!

 

Don’t you want to know how to set kids on fire?

It’s my desire, I’m a Tory liar! Continue Reading

Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward famously sang ‘Don’t Let’s be Beastly to the Germans!’ As always, the dour and humorless were not impressed.

Yeah, Daily Mail link… I know! How things change in a few decades! Continue Reading

Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

In the past, I have been heavily critical of The Intercept, and of Glenn Greenwald’s stance on the Charlie Hebdo martyrs. However, I have noticed a pattern developing recently.

First of all, upon the renewal of the fatwa against Salman Rushdie (essentially a glorified hitman contract from God!), The Intercept did not blame Rushdie for ‘provoking’ his critics. Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (2/2)

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (2/2)

Finally, two more videos (unless you’ve already checked them out. If not, why not?!)

5. Newt Gingrich Makes Cute-Ass Comeback as Cuddly Economy-Saver ^______6 Continue Reading

Posted in Internets Tubes, Podcasts, Top Stories0 Comments

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (1/2)

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (1/2)

More Youtube videos on my new channel! As always… ‘sorry if you were offended!’ ;)

1. Leaked Transcript of Merkel’s Confidential Censorship Conversation! Continue Reading

Posted in Internets Tubes, Podcasts0 Comments

4K Glossy News PODCAST 040 (4-25-16)

4K Glossy News PODCAST 040 (4-25-16)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with guest Jason Jones for most of the podcast.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the April 25th edition or the podcast:

* Wicked brilliant intro segment rudely interrupted by Jason Jones, who apparently was sitting next to me the whole time, butting in like a proper jackass, and only (apparently) because I told him to do so for comedic effect. What gives, right?

* Interview with a verified crack addict. He explains how Pac-Man led Gen-Xers to the rave scene and the many ways addiction lead to weight loss.

* The best and easiest way to pick up a second job in America.

* Why news teasers and local news stations are just plain terrible.

* Best songs to play at your funeral (Part One)

* Best songs to play at your funeral (Part Two)

Listen to it



Or you can download it by right-clicking and selecting “save as” right here. It’s also available on iTunes.

Watch it on YouTube



Follow me around the web:

iTunes (or search “Glossy News”)
Facebook.com/4KPodcast
Twitter – @4KPodcast
Reddit.com/r/GlossyPodcast
YouTube.com/glossynews
GlossyNews.com/podcast

Segment bumpers and background music by Greg the Hero Facebook.com/gregtheheromusic. Royalty Free Music “Your Call” “Music for a Funeral Part 11″ and “Funkorama” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com.

Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya!’

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya!’

Ted Cruz has recently given stuck it to the man over our trembling, weak-kneed bending over for the nefarious forces of Big Privacy.

His Most Exalted More True-Believe-ier Than Trumpness flashily remarks:

The war on surveillance is motivated purely by an ignoble politics of envy. The fact is, the guys we have monitoring your webcams have bigger dicks than you do; I think we can just take that one as given!

So if you want to squirm and slide around, or dick around (I hardly think it!), or even just go on a full-blown blazing rampage, and create some disreputable orgy of counter-conservative kiss-ass to your enemies, then be my guest! I can take it. Continue Reading

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Are You Boehmermann? Join The Spectator’s ‘Offensive Erdogan Poetry Competition!’

Are You Boehmermann? Join The Spectator’s ‘Offensive Erdogan Poetry Competition!’

The Spectator are holding an ‘Offensive Erdogan Poetry Competition!’ Douglas Murray aptly notes:

The very possibility of putting someone on trial for being rude about Erdogan is as illiberal or rather anti-liberal as these things come.  It will be hardly more of a relief if he is found ‘not guilty’ than if he is found ‘guilty’. Continue Reading

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Three More Satire Audio Podcasts! Dalai Lama, Evil Vatican Regime, God Versus Sideboobniks

Three More Satire Audio Podcasts! Dalai Lama, Evil Vatican Regime, God Versus Sideboobniks

I recently introduced my first satire audio podcast on Youtube! From this channel… Viewings are certainly climbing steadily.

My podcasts are not ‘regular’ at the moment, but I don’t think a regular schedule is necessary. It would certainly help though, and I will update you on that.

Here are the next three mp3s and video links. Remember, of course, to keep checking the pages of the recordings to find the (almost exactly) corresponding recording on my Satire Catastrophes site. (I’ve allowed myself a bit of creative license in my recordings!) The four videos so far are from my ebook I Shouldn’t Do God. Others will follow soon which are not from this ebook, nor even from the Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes ebook series!

Firstly, the Dalai Lama, Canon Welby, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Bono (which one is the odd one out?) have a rather tangled interfaith dispute about a whole lot of bugger all. Bless our oul’ Bono lad; see this lad, he’s no Athanasius, so he’s not!

Dalai Lama Versus Archbishop

Next, a certain good Italian-American Catholic Democratic representative is horrified at the horrendous right-wing deviations of the evil Vatican regime. ‘We have to stop this wicked man! It’s the only Christian thing to do!’

(Don’t download if you’re in Cuba or North Korea, or indeed the evil Vatican regime…)

Evil Vatican Regime

Finally, the Episcopalians find themselves utterly unable to reach consensus!

Oo, shit! That one’s gettin’ real old…

….

Uh, wait, sorry! I meant, ‘The Episcopalians find themselves unable to reach consensus with the Wahhabis and the Southern Baptists! I mean, that’s a completely different thing… Right? Huh? Huh?

Ah, forget it! Just check out the video. It’s pretty middle-of-the-road, after all.

Really?

Well,no! Cos if you’ll believe that, you’ll believe anything!

Within reason, of course…

God Hates Sideboob

***

Keep watching the channel, and I’ll sneer you soon with some more dry, anarchic humor!

In particular, more news on my secret recording of an Angela Merkel telephone conversation ;)

Posted in Internets Tubes, Podcasts0 Comments

Germany’s Humorless Strong Leader Hits the Bunker

Germany’s Humorless Strong Leader Hits the Bunker

Angela Merkel isn’t having such a good time right now; the not-so-Iron Chancellor’s craven capitulation to Erdogan looks like it may backfire.

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/angela-merkel-s-fawning-over-erdogan-will-put-the-turkish-president-not-jan-b-hmermann-in-the-dock-a6988076.html

The article above refers to a previous precedent by the European Court of Human Rights as follows: Continue Reading

Posted in Top Stories, World News0 Comments

4K Glossy News PODCAST 039 (4-18-16)

4K Glossy News PODCAST 039 (4-18-16)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with even more great insightful than ever.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the April 18th, (the actual) tax day edition.

* Billion Dollar Business idea… just name your company something that actually rhymes with “orange” and you’ll be set for life. Continue Reading

Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Ebook Update 2/2: Amazon Ebooks PLUS Free Ebook deal until 19th April!

Ebook Update 2/2: Amazon Ebooks PLUS Free Ebook deal until 19th April!

I hope you enjoyed my post an hour ago about my various free ebooks on non-Amazon outlets. I will now tell you about my Amazon ebooks, including an amazing offer in relation to one of my books!

Firstly, I will tell you that I already have two ebooks out on Amazon (Foaming the Optics & Graveyard of the Pieties) with one more already scheduled: Tarquin Binnett’s Sound Englishman’s Common Sense Jamboree, which is Book 1 in the forthcoming series Gang of Sneers.

Continue Reading

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

Page 1 of 212
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial