Posted in Biz News Politics

The Secret Trans-Pacific Partnership: “The TPP Is Good for You. Trust Us”

WASHINGTON – Global leaders negotiating the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) affirmed the necessity of secret negotiations for the massive trade and “global governance” deal. “The TPP is for your own good. Trust us,” stated senior negotiator Mickey Cantwell. “Only highly-paid lobbyists…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

Trump Slams Romney’s Pretentious ‘Business People’ Book (1/2)

Mitt Romney has released a new highly lucrative and highly non-ghostwritten handbook for businesspersons and 2016 GOP election frontrunners (insofar as there is a difference). The text of Business People is made up of three very informed and erudite chapters:…

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Posted in Crime

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed. Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

British Right-Wing Media Infiltrated by Far-Left Entryists

Unsurprisingly, it turns out that the supposedly “right-wing” media in the UK has been infiltrated by malign and conspiratorial forces. To wit, a vicious gang of far-left radical extremists™ who are attempting to destroy every last vestige of conservative, libertarian,…

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Posted in Podcasts Video News

4K Glossy News Review – One Hour Weekly Podcast is Live

Today GlossyNews launches the official podcast. Technology, jokes, religion, Double-D list celebrities and more all feature prominently, so for the love of web, give it at least a solid five minutes of attention. Celebrity guests will only get bigger by…

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Posted in Religionism World News

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Pope Francis has recently denounced the efforts by notable megachurch entrepreneur Merle Swaggett to buy out the Vatican and run the Church on a more modern basis: The Catholic Church has been around for a fairly long time, but there…

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Posted in Podcasts Video News

The Jreat Gif Pronunciation Debate

There controversy over the pronunciation of the file type “.gif” is hotly contested, but there can only be one right answer. Don’t ask Jeff, Geoff, Gary, Gerald, Jason, George or Jorge, but their anecdotal life experience means nothing to this…

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Posted in Crime Politics

Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree

Although one Confederate flag has been taken out in Charlestown, many more continue their nationwide crime spree. The populace must arm themselves against the heinous flags.

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Posted in Politics Society

Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But Not Transsexual (2/2)

Time for a bit of mutual mud-slinging, entrenched opinions and the politics of disagreement as one notable satirical persona says. Or again, as another such persona says: Of course, it’s perfectly true, from one perspective, that… But the other side…

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Posted in Podcasts Video News

Summer Worker Meets Famous Golfers, They’re Dicks

College summer jobs in the service industry can haphazardly introduce the young to celebrities big and small. Some celebrity jerk stories are obvious and believable, but others involve caricatures of characters who/which are down right unbelievable. Hard to swallow, if…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County

Berke Breathed, beloved cartoonist of the once greatly beloved cartoon Bloom County, has returned from the dead…… Oh….. Wait a moment……he wasn’t actually dead…….. He only stopped making his cartoon for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!! Bloom County, once one of the most…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But Not Transsexual (1/2)

Rick Santorum has not given the warm and generous welcome to the Supreme Court decision that a number of Republicans had anticipated. So he’s decided to avoid a false neutrality on this occasion and really speak from the heart. This…

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Posted in Podcasts Religionism

New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet

Separation of Church & State means a prison can’t tell you what to eat. They can’t force you to eat pork and, this church hopes, they cannot deny you lobster. Jails are terrible [citation needed] and inmates often do anything…

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Posted in Strange People

Donald Trump’s War Record

After Donald Trump’s scathing attack on Senator John McCain’s war record the Investigation’s Department here at Glossy News did a little digging into Trump’s own military record. It turns out that the great Donald also has a legacy of war…

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Posted in Religionism Television

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain “bad folks” pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he’s not been shy to get to the root of the problem. Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Human Interest

NASA Pluto Probe Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid

Andromeda President: I don’t mind a few Milky Way types coming here the odd time, within reason, but they should bloody well accept the way we do things here!!! Tearful Plutonian claims: My grandchildren are afraid of Neptunians who speak…

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Posted in Serious Commentary War Zone

Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (2/2)

Last time: Q: Who gets to decide what is a ‘Genocide’ or a ‘Crime Against Humanity,’ and what is merely a series of purportedly less serious war crimes or atrocities? A: Whoever has the power to do so. … It’s…

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Posted in Serious Commentary War Zone

Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (1/2)

Quick question: Who was it that committed mass atrocities in the Balkans?

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Posted in Politics World News

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn (3/3)

Last time: “You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.” Yes, nothing like edgy German socialism to warm the cockles of one’s heart. I love a bit of Liebknecht ‘n’ Luxemburg, you know. Jezza continues: And needless to say (although the…

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Posted in Politics World News

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn (2/3)

Last time: Wallace: Just change the record, man! You’re boring the arse o’ me, even if you are only a radically tendentious creation of my highly speculative fictional imagination, and not a real person. Jezza: Well, at least you still…

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