Month: July 2015
Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County
Berke Breathed, beloved cartoonist of the once greatly beloved cartoon Bloom County, has returned from the dead…… Oh….. Wait a moment……he wasn’t actually dead…….. He only stopped making his cartoon for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!! Bloom County, once one of the most…
Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But Not Transsexual (1/2)
Rick Santorum has not given the warm and generous welcome to the Supreme Court decision that a number of Republicans had anticipated. So he’s decided to avoid a false neutrality on this occasion and really speak from the heart. This…
New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet
Separation of Church & State means a prison can’t tell you what to eat. They can’t force you to eat pork and, this church hopes, they cannot deny you lobster. Jails are terrible [citation needed] and inmates often do anything…
Donald Trump’s War Record
After Donald Trump’s scathing attack on Senator John McCain’s war record the Investigation’s Department here at Glossy News did a little digging into Trump’s own military record. It turns out that the great Donald also has a legacy of war…
Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran
Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain “bad folks” pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he’s not been shy to get to the root of the problem. Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If…
NASA Pluto Probe Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid
Andromeda President: I don’t mind a few Milky Way types coming here the odd time, within reason, but they should bloody well accept the way we do things here!!! Tearful Plutonian claims: My grandchildren are afraid of Neptunians who speak…
Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (2/2)
Last time: Q: Who gets to decide what is a ‘Genocide’ or a ‘Crime Against Humanity,’ and what is merely a series of purportedly less serious war crimes or atrocities? A: Whoever has the power to do so. … It’s…
Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (1/2)
Quick question: Who was it that committed mass atrocities in the Balkans?
Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn (3/3)
Last time: “You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.” Yes, nothing like edgy German socialism to warm the cockles of one’s heart. I love a bit of Liebknecht ‘n’ Luxemburg, you know. Jezza continues: And needless to say (although the…
Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn (2/3)
Last time: Wallace: Just change the record, man! You’re boring the arse o’ me, even if you are only a radically tendentious creation of my highly speculative fictional imagination, and not a real person. Jezza: Well, at least you still…