Month: October 2013
Rush Limbaugh Crushed Under Falling Vending Machine
PALM BEACH COUNTY, FL – Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was flattened Sunday after a freak accident involving a vending machine left the 61-year-old with multiple injuries. Just 24 hours after issuing an apology to law student Sandra Fluke…
Indiana Man Uploads Entire Life Onto Facebook
INDIANAPOLIS – Spending more than nine hours a day on Facebook, one of the site’s 800 million users, Michael Treacher, says he has successfully uploaded his entire life onto the social networking site. Not only does his profile provide thousands…
Texas Messed With
AUSTIN, TX – It has been confirmed that the southern state of Texas was messed with today, as details of the messing continue to emerge. Little is known at present about the exact nature of the messing, but various spokesmen…
Adorable Indianapolis Desperately Trying to Convince Nation It a Major City
INDIANAPOLIS – As the Super Bowl nears its conclusion, the quite adorable city of Indianapolis is still desperately trying to convince the rest of the country that it is a major metropolis. Pulling in thousands of football fans from the…
Hecklers Repeatedly Ruin “Last Comic Standing” Legend Ant’s Set
The sold out crowd who showed up to see the wickedly funny Ant paid to see a solid performance, but what they got instead was incessant heckles and jeers from the crowd, some quite delightful. The Los Angeles show was…
Tea Party Representatives to Support Work and Education Centers for Poor
The debate over entitlement, drug testing of children who receive food stamps and student loans took surprising turn on the House floor. Representative Ted Cruz (R-TX) said, “We were debating the issue of drug testing when somebody said, ‘What would…
Collector David Koch Invites Reporters to View His Coveted Cash Heaps
Billionaire businessman David Koch, known for his political activism, entrepreneurial prowess and world-renowned collection of money has invited photographers and journalists in to see his private collection first hand. David and his brother Charles both inherited a large, private collections…
GOP Agrees to Raise Debt Ceiling (if 19th Amendment Repealed)
House Majority leader Eric Cantor and Republican House Speaker John Boehner agreed to a short-term budget and debt ceiling increase of 7-9 days, so long as women’s right to vote is repealed. Democrats considering the measure. The government shutdown is…
Glossy Staff Admits Butt-Hurt After Reaming by NRA Riled Redneck Brigade
The staff of Glossy news is busy licking their wounds today after a fierce word-lashing by a number of drive-by commentator fan(atic)s of the NRA. While a few commenters stand out in the article, the sum of their words was…
Republicans Smoking Too Much Weed Again
Once again Republicans have been having drug deliriums from smoking too much weed. With regards to the stalemate on the shutting down the government (by the way, the WRONG parts of the government have gotten shut down- why are these…