DPRK Adds Second “Democratic” to Name

PYONGYANG – In a move that is receiving widespread international approval, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has added a second “Democratic” to its name, paving the way for what Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un describes as “A new era of rove.”

The decision came after months of quibbling in the dictator’s nursery, where supreme economic officials argued the socialist backwater must remold its appearance in order to attract more tourists and commercial interests. Read more DPRK Adds Second “Democratic” to Name

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Unconditional Love Granted, Conditionally (comic)

We all know what love is, it’s falling unconditionally in love with another person so that they can do no wrong… until, of course, they actually do wrong, then to hell with them! Amirite?

The conditions on your love may be simple or complex, plain or convoluted, but one truth remains, it’s impossibly bullshitty.

Him going to game night with his buddies, like has since forever, is actually normal. Her buying makeup you don’t think she needs is just part of her ritual. Read more Unconditional Love Granted, Conditionally (comic)

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Dark Day for Homophobes on Facebook

MISSISSIPPI— Paula McClure (48) a housewife and occasional churchgoer, was watching television. Not Netflix on a television, but honest to God TV with commercials and all.

Today Paula has disconnected from the internet entirely because the Supreme Court ruled that section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional and that the California’s Prop 8 had no legal standing to be reviewed before the Supreme Court. Her world is inside out. Read more Dark Day for Homophobes on Facebook

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Ever Wondered About the Gross Taste in Your Mouth? (comic)

Dogs are great, but also weird and sometimes a bit gross. You know how unpleasant it is when you burp up the taste of onion rings… yeah, well, imagine you have the diet of a dog.

Personally, I’ve never had never had this experience. Then again, there’s a lot of things I haven’t done. Unlike all the others I can think of, this one isn’t on my bucket list. Read more Ever Wondered About the Gross Taste in Your Mouth? (comic)

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5th Grader Tells Friend Personal Secret, Now Wanted by NSA for Revealing Government Secrets

WASHINGTON — Federal authorities yesterday filed espionage charges against Area Fifth-grader Eddie Rainden for allegedly disclosing to an unnamed classmate that he still, on occasion, pees the bed, a secret over which the NSA is claiming ownership since, according to the government agency, they recorded the 10-year-old telling his grandmother about the bladder-control issue over a phone call three days prior to the in-class disclosure. Read more 5th Grader Tells Friend Personal Secret, Now Wanted by NSA for Revealing Government Secrets

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Conspiracies Abound, But Here’s Some Undeniable Truth

There are so many conspiracy theories out there, but who knows which are true and which are nothing more than steaming mounds of hot, delicious bullshit.

Well Glossy News knows, and that’s why we sent our very own reporter out on the scene to make such determinations. Below is a detailed infographic of what he found. Read more Conspiracies Abound, But Here’s Some Undeniable Truth

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Man Falls in “Like”, Girlfriend Unamused (comic)

You ever met a girl you thought was really awesome? Like awesome enough you might even love, but you were afraid to say it? Well not saying it can hold risks as big as that of over-sharing your feelings.

Maybe you guys have hung out a bunch, maybe you’ve just met, maybe you haven’t even met yet, but have made passionate love in dangerous and regrettable ways for days. No matter the case, this comic is for you. Read more Man Falls in “Like”, Girlfriend Unamused (comic)

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