Month: June 2013
DPRK Adds Second “Democratic” to Name
PYONGYANG – In a move that is receiving widespread international approval, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has added a second “Democratic” to its name, paving the way for what Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un describes as “A new era of…
Unconditional Love Granted, Conditionally (comic)
We all know what love is, it’s falling unconditionally in love with another person so that they can do no wrong… until, of course, they actually do wrong, then to hell with them! Amirite? The conditions on your love may…
Dark Day for Homophobes on Facebook
MISSISSIPPI— Paula McClure (48) a housewife and occasional churchgoer, was watching television. Not Netflix on a television, but honest to God TV with commercials and all. Today Paula has disconnected from the internet entirely because the Supreme Court ruled that…
Ever Wondered About the Gross Taste in Your Mouth? (comic)
Dogs are great, but also weird and sometimes a bit gross. You know how unpleasant it is when you burp up the taste of onion rings… yeah, well, imagine you have the diet of a dog. Personally, I’ve never had…
5th Grader Tells Friend Personal Secret, Now Wanted by NSA for Revealing Government Secrets
WASHINGTON — Federal authorities yesterday filed espionage charges against Area Fifth-grader Eddie Rainden for allegedly disclosing to an unnamed classmate that he still, on occasion, pees the bed, a secret over which the NSA is claiming ownership since, according to…
Conspiracies Abound, But Here’s Some Undeniable Truth
There are so many conspiracy theories out there, but who knows which are true and which are nothing more than steaming mounds of hot, delicious bullshit. Well Glossy News knows, and that’s why we sent our very own reporter out…
Man Falls in “Like”, Girlfriend Unamused (comic)
You ever met a girl you thought was really awesome? Like awesome enough you might even love, but you were afraid to say it? Well not saying it can hold risks as big as that of over-sharing your feelings. Maybe…
Business Lesson #74: Build team loyalty with self-guided mobile spy robots
If there’s one thing nearly every American can agree on it’s that having aerial surveillance cameras capable of eavesdropping on our every move from outer space is a wonderful thing. Oh, sure, sometimes surveillance cameras can be used for evil,…
Domesticated Dog Claims to Slay Rabbit, Citation Needed (comic)
If you’ve ever let your cat outside, you’ve surely been presented with a trophy kill. Maybe a mouse, a bird, or a smallish neighbor child. Fair enough, lesser creatures need to be selected out. Dogs, on the other hand, are…
Obama defends U.S. Alliance with al-Qaeda
It’s not easy to get an interview with the U.S. President. I had to pretend I was compliant journalist David Gregory, but it worked. Here is our conversation. Barb Weir: Thank you for granting me this interview, Mr. President.