Posted in World News

DPRK Adds Second “Democratic” to Name

PYONGYANG – In a move that is receiving widespread international approval, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has added a second “Democratic” to its name, paving the way for what Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un describes as “A new era of…

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Posted in Comics

Unconditional Love Granted, Conditionally (comic)

We all know what love is, it’s falling unconditionally in love with another person so that they can do no wrong… until, of course, they actually do wrong, then to hell with them! Amirite? The conditions on your love may…

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Posted in Human Interest

Dark Day for Homophobes on Facebook

MISSISSIPPI— Paula McClure (48) a housewife and occasional churchgoer, was watching television. Not Netflix on a television, but honest to God TV with commercials and all. Today Paula has disconnected from the internet entirely because the Supreme Court ruled that…

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Posted in Comics

Ever Wondered About the Gross Taste in Your Mouth? (comic)

Dogs are great, but also weird and sometimes a bit gross. You know how unpleasant it is when you burp up the taste of onion rings… yeah, well, imagine you have the diet of a dog. Personally, I’ve never had…

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Posted in Technology World News

5th Grader Tells Friend Personal Secret, Now Wanted by NSA for Revealing Government Secrets

WASHINGTON — Federal authorities yesterday filed espionage charges against Area Fifth-grader Eddie Rainden for allegedly disclosing to an unnamed classmate that he still, on occasion, pees the bed, a secret over which the NSA is claiming ownership since, according to…

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Posted in Crime

Conspiracies Abound, But Here’s Some Undeniable Truth

There are so many conspiracy theories out there, but who knows which are true and which are nothing more than steaming mounds of hot, delicious bullshit. Well Glossy News knows, and that’s why we sent our very own reporter out…

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Posted in Comics Society

Man Falls in “Like”, Girlfriend Unamused (comic)

You ever met a girl you thought was really awesome? Like awesome enough you might even love, but you were afraid to say it? Well not saying it can hold risks as big as that of over-sharing your feelings. Maybe…

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Posted in Biz News Science & Technologizzy

Business Lesson #74: Build team loyalty with self-guided mobile spy robots

If there’s one thing nearly every American can agree on it’s that having aerial surveillance cameras capable of eavesdropping on our every move from outer space is a wonderful thing. Oh, sure, sometimes surveillance cameras can be used for evil,…

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Posted in Comics

Domesticated Dog Claims to Slay Rabbit, Citation Needed (comic)

If you’ve ever let your cat outside, you’ve surely been presented with a trophy kill. Maybe a mouse, a bird, or a smallish neighbor child. Fair enough, lesser creatures need to be selected out. Dogs, on the other hand, are…

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Posted in Politics World News

Obama defends U.S. Alliance with al-Qaeda

It’s not easy to get an interview with the U.S. President. I had to pretend I was compliant journalist David Gregory, but it worked. Here is our conversation. Barb Weir: Thank you for granting me this interview, Mr. President.

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Posted in Comics Society

Why did the hipster shop at the thrift store (comic)

Hipsters are odd, unpredictable sorts of people. They do things that at the same time seem needlessly expensive and perfectly hobo-esque. There’s just no predicting them, and they like it that way. So why did the hipster shop at the…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Edward Snowden Warns: National Security Agency (NSA) Is Watching You Masturbate

Government whistleblower Edward Snowden warned US citizens today that the NSA has confiscated the cameras of all computers and they are surreptitiously watching all Americans masturbate. “Even when you don’t think you’re online or even when your computer is turned…

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Posted in War Zone World News

Israel Forces Palestinians In The Occupied Territories To Wear Yellow Star Of David

Israel, in its constant repression and controlling of the Palestinians living in the areas of the West Bank and Gaza that they keep a tight control over, have started forcing Palestinians to wear a yellow cloth Star Of David on…

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Posted in Comics

Canine Bulemia Sweeping the Nation (comic)

Everyone wants to be thin and pretty, so it’s easy to see why our beloved dogs fall victim to the same sorts of pressure as humans. We could be thin by exercising self-restraint, or, you know, we could just jam…

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Posted in Environment

Global Warming Producing Some Really Effing Awesome Weather

INDIANAPOLIS – Despite international concern over CO2 emissions and rising global temperatures, people from all across Indiana are discovering that global warming is, for better or worse, producing some really fucking awesome weather right now. Fears over increasing sea-levels, ferocious…

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Posted in Comics Strange People

How Many Ways Will You Take Shots/Shoots in New Orleans (comic)

We’ve all been in party situations, even if we haven’t been in unbridled places like Matazlan, Cabo or Ibiza for Spring Break. No matter, you likely know the value of a shot, even if it is second hand. This is…

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Posted in Biz News

Construction Work Begins on Interstate Construction Work

INDIANAPOLIS – Traffic was backed up for almost four miles on I-465 Tuesday, as wide-scale construction work – aimed at improving the existing construction work along the interstate heading in and out of Indianapolis – got underway.

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Posted in Politics

Confessions of a Former Sarah Palin Supporter

Yes, it is true. I voted for Sarah Palin. No, not when she was running for Vice President. Way back when she was running for governor of Alaska. Posters of her were everywhere in the 49th state. She seemed genuine,…

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Posted in Comics Human Interest

If You Had Your Life to do Over Again (comic)

If you had your whole life to do over again, what would you do differently? Would you never agree to date that woman who turned out to be your evil ex-wife? Would you not have children? Would you have refrained…

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Posted in Biz News Internets Tubes

Google: “People Don’t Need Bathroom Doors”

In a statement updated from 2009 and 2010, Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google Inc., has reiterated his belief that people need extremely little privacy, saying: “If you’re doing something that you don’t want anyone to see, maybe you shouldn’t be…

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