Year: 2012
Romney Sucked Out of Airplane Window
Claiming he felt ‘stuffy and cramped’ GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney smashed open a window aboard a 727 jet aircraft as the plane was flying 500 MPH at 30,000 feet and he was immediately sucked out into space. “We told…
Pakistani Jazz Band ‘Cock Disturbance’ Jailed for Blasphemy
ISLAMABAD – Pakistani police have arrested all four members of an Islamabad based jazz band named Cock Disturbance for blasphemy. The group was arrested after performing an impromptu concert in a mosque where they called for the resignation of Pakistani…
A Devoted Christian on Marriage, Family, & Homosexuality, where the Conservatives and Liberals Can Meet
I’ve been working in the field of Genetics and Bioinformatics for many years now. What I’ve been taught most of my life is that homosexuality is an innate condition that people are born with. The genetics of this is very complicated so I will simplify. For example:
Hoffa Digs Romney
The search for Jimmy Hoffa has uncovered the unexpected. Shreds of paper found embedded within core samples of earth removed from beneath the concrete driveway of a suburban Detroit home where Hoffa reportedly lie buried appear to be the missing…
All 15 Fans of Hockey Lament over Lockout
NEW YORK- The NHL lockout, well within its second week, has left most sports fans uninterrupted, except for the few that consider themselves a fan of hockey. Although sources indicate that hockey is popular in other countries, it has never…
Regular NFL Refs Die From Shock After Being Cheered
Baltimore, MD – NFL players, coaches, and fans were stunned when all seven officials died from apparent shock after receiving a standing ovation and roaring cheers for returning to their first game after a four month long lockout. The chaos…
Beware of the Partisanship Disease
Partisanship is not a figurative expression, but quite real. It is, in fact, an actual chronic disease. If you know someone who has come down with the conservative or liberal version of this infection, take heart: there is a cure!…
Andrew Luck Relishing Challenge of Outgrowing the Colts
INDIANAPOLIS – Speaking ahead of Sunday’s game against the Jacksonville Jaguars, prospective new quarterback Andrew Luck insisted he is really enjoying the challenge of following in the footsteps of Peyton Manning and to one day outgrow The Indianapolis Colts. Saying…
Romney’s Tax Records Show He’s Working for President Obama
WASHINTON D.C.- The Romeny campaign had contested showing Mitt’s 2011 returns for so long, and once released, every one understood why. Mitt Romney had been on the Obama campaign’s payroll for quite some time. “Mitt did a really good job…
Romney’s Economic Plan Is Right Direction For America, According to Apple Maps
Cupertino, CA – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s plan for restoring the U.S. economy will lead to a new era of high employment and prosperity for the nation, according to Apple’s new iOS 6 based Maps app. By entering Mr….