Posted in Internets Tubes

Top GlossyNews.com Articles of 2012

For the first time in our 10+ years of publishing, we’re getting in on the end-of-year “top lists” game with a list of our top 10, well, 30 actually, stories of 2012. These are broken into three lists. Top Stories…

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Posted in Politics

The Proposed 2013 Great Gun Grab…Why Sen. Dianne Feinstein is Full of It

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) – Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.)—author of the federal “assault weapon” and “large” ammunition magazine ban of 1994-2004—has announced that on the first day of the new Congress—January 3rd— she will introduce a bill to which her…

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Posted in Politics

The Koch Addiction

It’s not every day that a U.S. Congressman wants to talk to a reporter about his addiction. In keeping with his request for anonymity, however, I have deleted any references that might reveal his identity, and therefore refer to him…

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Posted in Crime

NRA solves gun violence problem: Bullet-proof vests for every American

A small minority of Americans (estimated to be less than 87%) were shocked by recent remarks by Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the National Rifle Association, the world’s largest gun rights lobbying organization. In his remarks LaPierre argued forcefully that the…

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Posted in Human Interest Opinion/Editorial

The Nightmare of Living in America’s Friendliest Town

You might think living in America’s friendliest town must be a fairy tale. Au contraire. It’s a living Hell. Forbes Magazine just came out with its ranking of the Friendliest Towns in America. Coming in at the #1 spot on…

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Posted in Biz News Society

Hipster Insists “All Clothes Are Reversible”

Baron Davuson, a 30-something living in Seattle, knows HTML, database management craft beer brewing and how to dress like a wealthy hobo. Davuson made a splash this week with his bold pronouncement, that any clothing can be made hip simply…

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Posted in Human Interest

Bad Ideas in the News

Every now and then, Glossy News publishes quirky stories about people who are in the news for having made really bad decisions. We find it helps our readers feel better about themselves. If you’re having a rough day, if you’re…

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Posted in Crime Strange People

Siege Of NRA Headquarters By Outraged Citizens Enters Its Second Day.

The siege at the NRA Headquarters has entered its second day. Irate citizens, sickened by the NRA’s constant arrogant promotion of guns of mass destruction in society especially in the wake of the child shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School,…

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Posted in Politics

Palin Proposes Bridge Over Fiscal Cliff

Political pundit and former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin held a press conference this morning to propose the construction of a bridge “assuring Americans safe passage over the fiscal cliff”. “I’m tired of Washington insiders debating the dangers of this…

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Posted in Politics

Yes, Virginia, $250,000 IS Rich

There’s this fun little debate going on in Washington about tax rates for households earning over $250,000. Some would have you believe that those earning over $250,000 are not rich, but those people would be lying to you. I’ll start…

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Posted in Health Strange People

Mob Storms Charlton Heston’s Grave, Tear Gun Out His Cold, Dead Hands

Outraged citizens, incensed by the shredding of childrens bodies at Sandy Hook Elementary School last week by a crazy with an assault rifle, turned out in droves at the grave of Charleton Heston, legendary CEO of the National Rifle Association,…

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Posted in Science Science & Technologizzy

Study Reveals Disturbing Levels of Inbreeding Among Santa’s Elves

A new study published today in The Journal of Humanoid Genetics reveals high levels of inbreeding among Santa’s famous toy making elves. Analysis of DNA microsatellites obtained from blood samples taken from several hundred randomly chosen North Pole elves resulted…

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Posted in Politics

The ‘Borking’ of Robert Bork; the New Game Plan for the Hard Left

Today a view from two sides of a political issue. Judge Robert Bork and what he meant to America and to politics. Joining us from the Right is Dean Chambers, blogger and pollster from UnSkewedPolls.com. From the Left it is…

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Posted in Society

The War on Christmas Is(n’t) a Total Joke

It seems every year we go through the same rigamaroll. In August we crack out the decorations, in November we start the massive shopping season, and in December we enter the War on Christmas territory. Is it a real war,…

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Posted in Talky Pictures

Disney Expected to Lobby for Term Extension

Many may not realize this fact, but because Frank Churchill died in 1942, the music of ‘Never Smile at a Crocodile’ from the feature length animated version of ‘Peter Pan’ is set to enter the Public Domain across the EEA…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Man Calls “Dibs” On Burgundy Role, Sends Ferrell Packing

MINNEAPOLIS- Everyone and their maternal mothers are looking forward to the sequel to the hit movie Anchorman, which set box office records for a news-based, pseudo-docudramady across the country back in 2004. However, there have been rumors bubbling around regarding…

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Posted in Science Science & Technologizzy

Scientists Declare 3,000 YO Andean Mummy “Total Hottie”

Researchers from Oregon State University announced that virtual facial reconstruction of a 3,000 year old Andean mummy revealed, “She was totally hot”. Using the latest in digital imaging technology, “the team has concluded that she was at least an 8,…

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Posted in Politics

Karl Rove Reduced to Street Corner Begging; “Will Smear for Food”

Karl Rove Seen Begging On Street Corners- “Will Smear Someone for Food”. Little has been seen of Karl Rove, the Republican Wunderkind of underhanded politics, since his horrendous humiliation due to Obama winning the Presidential election- until now. Witness’s claim…

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Posted in Top Stories

The National Rifle Association Revises Its Proposal

RIGHT: The National Rifle Association unveils its new proposal for protecting schools. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

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Posted in Politics

Bikers Ride Whole Hog for NRA

WASHINGTON DC–Motorcycle clubs across America have accepted the challenge to protect this country’s schools. NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre recently stated an armed police officer be placed in every school. America’s bikers have stepped up in “whole hog” support….

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Posted in Health

How I Successfully Trolled Ali G’s Cousin

A few days ago, for some reason, I was thinking on how to get my revenge on an Autism researcher who knows nothing about his subject and completely eclipses a woman who does, when a really wicked thought came to…

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Posted in Crime Strange People

NRA Finds Just the Man for Their Propaganda Ministry

The National Rifle Association, caught like a raccoon in the headlights by the shooting of grade school children, has been awfully quiet since the incident. The shooting puts them in a very negative light since they support the sales of…

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Posted in Society Technology

Aztecs Slam “Typical Stupid Mayans” When World Fails to End

Many Aztecs throughout North and Central America rejoiced at the stroke of midnight December 22nd, 2012, as the world failed to end, in accordance with Mayan prophecy. “Those stupid [beeping] Mayans. They’re just wrong about everything,” said Miguel Quattel, an…

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Posted in Music

An Interview With Philip Glass During the Apocalypse

New York – In the refined New York home of Philip Glass, the great American minimalist pianist, we discussed the finer points of symphonic and chamber music over cheese and 10-year old Merlot wine. Q: When you first began playing…

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Posted in Sports Events

So Long, Farewell, Adieu: The End is Coming and it Will Get You Too

Greetings dear Readers! [EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the advice of what later turned out to be a con artist, this article was not reviewed for publication prior to the end of days deadline. We had been assured that the world…

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