Posted in Biz News

Yet More CEO Jokes (A Constant Source Of Inspiration)

CEO JOKES 3- WHY DO THEY SEEM TO BE AN ENDLESS SOURCE OF MATERIAL? What is the difference between a CEO and a vulture? Vultures fly and at least have the decency to wait until you die to eat you….

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Internets Tubes

Teen Takes a Few Minutes Away from Skyrim to Spend Quality Time with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

INDIANAPOLIS – After playing The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim on his PlayStation 3 for twelve solid hours Tuesday, local teen Benjamin White finally took a few moments away from the highly popular video game to spend some much needed quality…

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Posted in Politics

Romney Campaign Wants Your Suggestions. What Are You Waiting For?

The Romney campaign has taken the bold step of allowing for suggestions to come in through their website. What could possibly go wrong? Do you have a message you’d like to send to Mitt Romney? I bet you could send…

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Posted in Education Society

Indiana Mom Prepares Child For His First Full Day of No More Fun

INDIANAPOLIS – With around two weeks to go until the start of school, Indiana mom Annette Nichols is anxiously getting her 6-year-old son ready for his first day of what will ultimately be no more fun. Enrolling him in classes…

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Posted in Science Science & Technologizzy

Mars Rover Curiosity Discovers Triboob

Excited NASA staff make plans for a manned mission to Mars after the Mars rover returned its first series of results. It took 8 months to get there and a further 2 weeks to find anything of importance, but at…

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Posted in Crime Society

Brutal, Merciless Shooting Thankfully Not Linked to Terrorism

NEW YORK, NY – A brutal shooting that recently left 2 people dead and several wounded outside the Empire State Building is not believed to be linked to terrorism, say relieved news sources. Even though 11 people were wounded after…

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Posted in Entertainment Television

History Channel Says “Screw It,” Merges with the E! and Syfy Networks

In a move not surprising to cable TV insiders, the History Channel has announced that it will merge with the E! and SyFy channels. Production costs were cited as the primary reason for the consolidation. Abbe Raven, President and CEO…

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Posted in Crime

Superman Fails to Stop Bank Robbery Due to Not Being Real

New York police were left red-faced after Superman did not turn up to save the day. When responding to what seemed a routine bank alarm call out, three police cars pulled up outside Steel Cheques Bank to find a real…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Satire May Be a Dying Art, Thanks to Internet Trolls

Serious concerns have been raised in the United Kingdom, over the future of online satire as an art form, a development which has also caused consternation in the United States. In the UK, a number of high profile court cases…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

72% of Justin Bieber Fans Fail Turing Test

Alan Turing developed a level of accomplishment called the “Turing Test,” which was: can a computer trick a human into believing it is human. It turns out, in tests, 72% of Justin Bieber fans failed this test, leading researchers to…

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Posted in Crime War Zone

History’s Largest Manhunt Over, Waldo Dead

Aden- The largest manhunt in the war on terror finally comes to a close. Waldo, a.k.a. Wally, Veli, or Al’ Shabaz Mussa Shadif was an American citizen who notably sympathized with Al Quaeda insurgency groups and became an intellectual leader…

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Posted in Politics

Romney: Screw It, I’ll Give $300k to Everyone Who Votes for Me

WASHINGTON D.C. – In an effort to win over the average working American, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has vowed to give away his entire wealth to the American people, declaring: “enough with politics: I’ll give three million freaking…

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial Politics

Nation’s Debt Crisis Solved – No Need to Thank Me

Here’s a number that might scare you: $14,132,959,955,340. That’s 14 trillion dollars, give or take a few hundred billion. That’s the current estimate of our national debt according to the OMB (Office of Management and Budget). Here’s a slightly smaller…

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Posted in Internets Tubes

Man Justifies Having Two Facebook Profiles

Documents leaked to Glossy News have revealed that a man, only being identified as Man P, for data privacy reasons, has not one, but two Facebook profiles. It is unclear how this may have happened, but early examination of the…

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Posted in Politics

Florida AG Pam Bondi’s Long Beautiful Hair

TAMPA – Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi speaks before the Republican National Convention this week on the subject of a whisper campaign. Will she or won’t she? Known for her gleaming blonde hair and barback good looks, the rumor is…

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Posted in Strange People

New Karl Rove Infomercial: “Weaseling Your Way To Success”

Greetings fellow Americans – Are you one of the downtrodden ones who have never had a lucky break? I was one too, but I am going to pass on to you how you can break out of the bad luck…

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Posted in Politics

Huckabee Asks RNC Organizers if He Can Bring His Bass

TAMPA, FL – Gearing up to play a memorable part in the 2012 Republican National Convention this week, former Arkansas Governor and presidential campaigner Mike Huckabee has asked RNC organizers if it would be okay for him to bring along…

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Posted in Politics

Paul Ryan Something of An O.G.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin- Recently, news surfaced that Paul Ryan’s college sweet heart was black, but what media outlets don’t know is that Paul Ryan was O.G. The term, O.G., is an abbreviation for original gangster, a term used by hip hop…

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Posted in Environment Society

Hurricane Isaac, New Orleans Mulligan

New Orleans, Louisiana- As New Orleans prepares to be hit by another potentially devastating hurricane, New Orleans officials hit the airwaves proving how they will not screw this one up. New Orleans Mayor, Mitch Landrieu stated in a press conference…

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Posted in Internets Tubes Society

Man Awakes from Coma; Wonders Where All His MySpace Friends Are

After spending 6 years in a comatose condition stemming from a bizarre bungee jumping accident during an otherwise raucous and spirited Spring break in Cancun, local man Bryce Peters, now 27, has incredibly regained consciousness. Doctors always remained hopeful of…

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