Posted in Science & Technologizzy

Osama’s “24”; Transition to Hell Documented

Anxious to give Hollywood even more in-depth details surrounding the hunt and “sanctioned removal” of Osama Bin Laden, the Obama Administration has unwittingly acknowledged the existence of innovative new technology. Using the Baal2012 SuperComputer leased by StrangleCorp, the government has…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest Society

Tower of Pisa Collapses, Russian Tourists Smooshed

Tuscany, Italy – (SatireWorld.com) – The Italian government was dumbfounded after hearing reports that the famous Tower of Pisa fell. Long touted as an impossible building that had an accurate description attached to its name, the 183 foot tower fell…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

StrangleCorp to Bid on Navy Rail Gun Project

StrangleCorp has announced its intention to bid on the Navy’s Electromagnetic Railgun Project after the current testing cycle is complete. “We’ve been watching BAE System’s and General Atomics’ progress through the prototype stage very closely and we’re pretty confident that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Environment

In Animal Kingdom, Doin’ Big Nasty Is Sometimes Real Nasty

Human beings appear to be the only creatures that can have sex sheerly out of pleasure. The animals seem to do it mostly as a matter of course. I mean, can you imagine a lobster having pleasure out of intercourse?…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Crime Crooked Cops

Pulled Pork… You’ll Get it in a Minute

Apparently the cops in Santa Fe are jerkin off on the job and I mean that literally. The hero of our story, former police Sgt Mike Eiskant seems to have been caught holding the bag when a team of investigative…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Obama’s New Running Mate – Anti-Biden Shocker

It came out today that President Obama will replace Joe Biden as his running mate for the 2012 presidential election. Beyonce will be filling in for the stodgy old senator. Her star power will surely add the glitz and glamor…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Ted Nugent Gets a Good Hunting Buddy in Killer Cannibal Luka Magnotta

Ted Nugent, the flaming redneck of rock and gun fame, who was most recently in the news for ‘suggesting’ that Obama and his Cabinet be beheaded, has found himself a new hunting buddy. “That damn (expletive deleted) Luka Magnotta (the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Biz News Human Interest

ATM Worried About Job Prospects in Cashless Economy

COLUMBUS, OH – As plastic and electronic methods continue to replace cash as consumers’ preferred means of payment, fears about the long-term impact of this trend are running high among a key segment of the nation’s banking workforce, specifically its…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Bill Clinton: Rather Switch than Fight

NEW YORK–Bill Clinton rocked the political world today by announcing his change in party affiliation from Democrat to Independent. Meet the Press moderator David Gregory asked Mr. Clinton to explain his decision. “Could’ve been worse,” Clinton responded. “Could’ve switched to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

“Penis Prologue” Heats Up War of the Sexes in Michigan

A hastily written script entitled the “Penis Prologue” is scheduled to be read by Michigan Speaker James Bolger on the Michigan State Capitol steps Friday before hundreds of male counter-protesters. The reading is in response to Rep. Lisa Brown’s performance…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in World News

Greece Plans to Close Budget Deficit by Reloading Big, Fat Greek Wedding Franchise

Athens — After many years of embarrassing budget mismanagement leading to a debt of over 450 billion dollars, the Greek government has agreed that the only way out of their economic recession is to remake the 2002 sleeper hit My Big…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Sports Events

Behind The Scenes At The 2012 London Summer Olympics

SCENE: London General Hospital TIME: The 2012 Summer Olympic Games The emergency telephone rings. Nurse: London General. Voice on phone: Ambulance 253 here! We’re bringing in a code 5. Six patients in all.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Romney Gaffe; Seamus Descendant Bites Back

It’s the shaggy dog story that Mitt Romney can’t shake. Hounded by animal rights activists for strapping the family dog to the roof of his car during a 12-hour road trip to Canada, the story has refused to lie down…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Biz News War Zone

Job Opening: Got What it Takes to be al Qaeda’s New Number 2?

Recently, Al Qaeda’s #2 in command was killed in a drone strike. This makes him the fourth Al Qaeda #2 to be taken out in the past 18 months. In the interest of casting a wider net for possible replacement…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Health

Exciting Miracle Weight Loss Cure Placebolax

Introducing Placebolax – from SCAMCO – the same company that brought you the (not-quite-FDA-approved) sleep interrupter device Miracle Snore and Eye Can See, the popular battery-operated do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics Strange People

Florida Cracks Up; South Florida Secedes

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that the state of Florida can divide into two states. The decision was unanimous. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote “… severability initiated by a majority of state citizens does not equate to secessionism of said…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Prop 8 SCOTUS Vote Jerks GOPTea© Full Circle

WASHINGTON DC —GlossyNews There’s a small but rising fear in some GOPTea© circles that if SCOTUS agrees that California’s Prop 8 is unconstitutional, Romney will lose a very effective rallying point for evangelical conservatives.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Conservative Right Shares Plans To Revive Economy Post-Election

HOW REPUBLICANS WILL IMPROVE THE ECONOMY IF ELECTED: • Start a new war to refocus attention off the bad state of national affairs and to bolster arm sales and allow corporate ‘service’ interests to leech money off the taxpayers to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Internets Tubes

Barney Google (w/ them Goo-Goo-Googly Eyes) Sues Google Inc. for Copyrighted Infringement

Now forgotten comic legend Barney Google (the guy with the ‘Goo-goo-gooogley Eyes’ according to an old hit song) is suing website mega-giant Google for copyrighted name infringement. Barney claims that Google intentionally used his name to increase their visibility in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Top Stories

Second U.S. Civil War Ends In 2017- America Divided East & West

NEWS OF THE FUTURE- April, 2018 — Many changes have come to America in the years since the second Civil War in 2017. As you well know the increasing partisan tensions between the Democrats and Republicans, brewing in intensity for…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!