Month: June 2012
Greece Plans to Close Budget Deficit by Reloading Big, Fat Greek Wedding Franchise
Athens — After many years of embarrassing budget mismanagement leading to a debt of over 450 billion dollars, the Greek government has agreed that the only way out of their economic recession is to remake the 2002 sleeper hit My Big…
Behind The Scenes At The 2012 London Summer Olympics
SCENE: London General Hospital TIME: The 2012 Summer Olympic Games The emergency telephone rings. Nurse: London General. Voice on phone: Ambulance 253 here! We’re bringing in a code 5. Six patients in all.
Romney Gaffe; Seamus Descendant Bites Back
It’s the shaggy dog story that Mitt Romney can’t shake. Hounded by animal rights activists for strapping the family dog to the roof of his car during a 12-hour road trip to Canada, the story has refused to lie down…
Job Opening: Got What it Takes to be al Qaeda’s New Number 2?
Recently, Al Qaeda’s #2 in command was killed in a drone strike. This makes him the fourth Al Qaeda #2 to be taken out in the past 18 months. In the interest of casting a wider net for possible replacement…
Exciting Miracle Weight Loss Cure Placebolax
Introducing Placebolax – from SCAMCO – the same company that brought you the (not-quite-FDA-approved) sleep interrupter device Miracle Snore and Eye Can See, the popular battery-operated do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit.
Florida Cracks Up; South Florida Secedes
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that the state of Florida can divide into two states. The decision was unanimous. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote “… severability initiated by a majority of state citizens does not equate to secessionism of said…
Prop 8 SCOTUS Vote Jerks GOPTea© Full Circle
WASHINGTON DC —GlossyNews There’s a small but rising fear in some GOPTea© circles that if SCOTUS agrees that California’s Prop 8 is unconstitutional, Romney will lose a very effective rallying point for evangelical conservatives.
Conservative Right Shares Plans To Revive Economy Post-Election
HOW REPUBLICANS WILL IMPROVE THE ECONOMY IF ELECTED: • Start a new war to refocus attention off the bad state of national affairs and to bolster arm sales and allow corporate ‘service’ interests to leech money off the taxpayers to…
Barney Google (w/ them Goo-Goo-Googly Eyes) Sues Google Inc. for Copyrighted Infringement
Now forgotten comic legend Barney Google (the guy with the ‘Goo-goo-gooogley Eyes’ according to an old hit song) is suing website mega-giant Google for copyrighted name infringement. Barney claims that Google intentionally used his name to increase their visibility in…
Second U.S. Civil War Ends In 2017- America Divided East & West
NEWS OF THE FUTURE- April, 2018 — Many changes have come to America in the years since the second Civil War in 2017. As you well know the increasing partisan tensions between the Democrats and Republicans, brewing in intensity for…