Month: January 2011
Prince Elected as New Chairman of Republican National Committee
Reince Priebus, or Prince Rebus as he his known to friends and family, was elected today as Chairman of the Republican National Committee (RNC). The Prince replaces outgoing Chairman, Michael Steele, whose leadership of the RNC has been fraught with…
John McCain Apologizes to Republicans for Giving Props to Obama
John McCain claims “Like many Americans, I got caught up in the moment when I wrote that op-ed in the Washington Post.” He told fellow Republicans, “Believe me, it will never happen again.”
New Species of Lunatic Discovered
Psycho-zoology has long been considered a low-glamour science. While botanists and biologists regularly grab headlines with new discoveries, psycho-zoologists labor in obscurity. Experts have always believed there aren’t any new ‘burnt cookie’ species to be identified, due to the thorough…
Poodles Dropping Like Flies in France
First it was fishes, then it was birds, now it’s poodles. Thousands of standard poodles are dropping like flies in France. While miniature, tea cup, toy and other varieties of poodles seem to be thriving in France and other parts…
RNC Funding Calls for Chairman Neuvo, Hold the Mexican
Want to be the next chairman of the Republican National Committee? Take this easy essay test and send it back to the RNC in Washington. Be sure to include all your contact info so we can get in touch if…
Thousands of Twitterers Mysteriously Fall Dead (From Skype)
Dubbed the “App-pocalypse” by users, officials say this is a perfectly natural phenomenon, likely caused by Firefox or a computer virus, and nothing to worry about.
Palin Explains Mixup in Map Displayed on SarahPAC Website
“Oh gosh, when I woke up Sunday morning, I was just horrified to see my US map with the gun sites directed at US states and names of lawmakers printed below,” claimed a somewhat contrite Sarah Palin in attempting to…
East Texas Town Succumbs to Old-Fashioned Steapl Chase
Raisin, TX-The East Texas town of Raisin has found itself in a predictable predicament culminating from the holier-than-thou atmosphere that often pervades small towns across the United States. When you approach Raisin, a town of 2500 that sits in a…
Sundance Darling Catfish Thrilling, Suspenseful, and an Obvious Hoax
The 2010 surprise Sundance hit was a film called Catfish, a tale of an internet relationship gone horrible sideways. Apparently the name “Sideways” was already taken, and since the producers didn’t want to just declare it an outright hoax, they…
Obama Signs New Jim Crow Bill into Law
Washington D.C. – Continuing a perfect record of being a doormat for the Neo-Fascists, President Obama signed a reverse civil rights bill into law today. Specifically, the bill addresses the ire of restaurant owners who are tired of serving pesky colored…