Month: November 2010
Rupert and Roger’s (enter name here) Neo-Party
It is obvious to me –I’m probably alone here– that FauxNoiz, MySpace-Dammit and Noizcorp have decided that they want to become the next Third Party in US politics. Murdoch and Ailes have made their billions on this crapo business/political scheme…
Music-Composing Super Computer Deemed a Failure
PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania – A scientist at a local university has declared his greatest achievement, a computer capable of composing original music, a complete failure. Dr. William T. Corn had been working for over fifteen years on the Artificial Music Operation Project,…
Unproduced Film Hailed as Chris Nolan’s Biggest Hit Yet
LOS ANGELES, California – After acheiving Blockbuster success with his film “Inception,” writer/director Christopher Nolan has done it again. Critics and fans are already hailing his new film as the greatest ever made. It has already made many critics favorites…
Center of Known Universe Found During Routine Colonoscopy
University researchers have made a startling discovery after a routine colonoscopy of a 50 year old native American man revealed a phenomenon. The discovery is known in layman’s terms as….The Center of the Known Universe! The true Theta Victa Gamma…
Christine O’Donnell Camp Considering Concession
Only three days after election day, and a mere 9-weeks after her crusade for a senate seat lost its luster, Christine O’Donnell, who has cast her spell on many voters around the good state of Delaware, is now considering conceding…
Tyler Perry to Reproduce ROOTS as Musical Comedy
Pundit Recycling Program Deemed Success
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. We heard somebody named Juan Williams got fired from NPR and wanted to get the real story. Because the excuse that was given, well? Gringos are a little off in…
Johnny Depp School Visit Ends in Tragedy
LONDON, United Kingdom (Glossy News) — What was meant to be a special day for children at Middleburytonshire Elementary will be recalled quite differently after a surprise visit from Johnny Depp took a turn for the worse. Precocious Jessica Smythe-Flaverhaven…
Arriva PLC Threatens Satirists Who Never Even Mentioned Them
SEATTLE, Former British Colonies (GlossyNews) – On Sunday, the 27th of June, 2010, the headquarters of Glossy News was shocked to receive a notice from the solicitors of Arriva PLC (www.arriva.co.uk ) demanding that Glossy News cease and desist. Due…
Seattle Man Finds Dream Woman On Dating Website
SEATTLE, Wash. (Glossy News) — A wealthy Seattle man, Benjamin Dover, recently decided it was time to remarry. Having divorced his wife of five years after a rather steamy sex scandal that rocked downtown Seattle, Dover sought to put the…