Month: October 2010
Blind Lesbians Cause Riot at Local Market
ANANAPOLIS, Maryland (GlossyNews) — What started out as a simple educational outing for a group of sight impaired lesbians from the local Helen Keller Institute for the Blind, ended up with almost all of the women being herded into paddy wagons…
Times Square Bomber Gets Plea Deal – Turned in 6 Smokers
NEW YORK, New York (GlossyNews) — Department of Homeland Security officials admitted today at an early morning press conference that Faisal Shahzad, 30, the alleged “Times Square Bomber,” was released on bond at the behest of New York City leaders…
Pelosi Vows to Shorten Abortion Waiting Period to a Year
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois (GlossyNews) — With the advent of National Socialized Medicine, Democratic supporters squeaked in a provision that allows free abortions upon demand for any women who desires one. Cited as free choice and a right of all women, the…
Gun & Beer Sales Up, Foreclosures Down in Michigan
MIDDLE AMERICA, USA (GlossyNews) — Folks facing financial ruin in Michigan have finally come up with a solution to losing their homes to banks through the foreclosure process. They are taking their unemployment checks and purchasing rifles to fend off…
Cheney and Bush in Parallel Universe Experience The Revolutionary War
WALT DISNEY WORLD, Florida (GlossyNews) — In a parallel universe to ours, one which resembles ours in every respect except times and situations are rearranged, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush find themselves back in Boston at the time of…
Cuba Sees Future in Tourism
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Beleaguered, nearly forgotten Cuba has announced another wave of economic reforms. Under the new guidelines, citizens can operate small businesses, hire employees, and rent property for American currency. Analysts attribute…
Kudos to Writers for Not Acting Like Stupid Dodo Heads
The saying goes “There is more than one way to skin a cat.” No, this isn’t a funny story about a cat. I know, I know, for all you cat lovers out there, maybe there will be one soon, but…