Month: October 2010
Terry Fox’s Inspiring Cancer Survivor Story
I am sure most people have heard of Terry Fox, a young cancer survivor who developed bone cancer and had his left leg removed as a result. After recovering, he vowed to “run” 3000 miles across Canada to raise money…
Dead Woman In Chair Watches TV For 42 years
ZAGREB, Croatia (Glossy News) – We’re not sure what was on TV in 1966 in the former Yugoslavia, but it must have been so terrible that a woman died while viewing it, and her remains have only recently been found….
Study Proves Marble Tile is Very Heavy
When you’re married, there will be times (usually during 4th quarter of a tied game)that a woman says, “Something something something would brighten up the room, don’t you think?” Wait until the game is over, and then go out to…
TLC to Air ‘This Old Crack House Hoarder Bridezilla’ Special
The Learning Channel keeps coming up with bigger and better ideas to try and garner the lion’s share of ratings in the reality television business. With Bravo shows such as the wildly famous “Real Housewives” series and “Chef” series, it…
Scientists: Bugs In Rugs — Not Snug
DENVER, Colorado (GlossyNews) — Insect research at Denver University has determined that a common saying is incorrect and that there is no such thing as being “as snug as a bug in a rug.” The phrase, which is generally taken…
Sesame Street Makes Top Ten List of Dangerous Places
Sesame Street is no longer the wholesome neighborhood street that children and their families flock to to enjoy an afternoon of counting and rhyming and learning some fun educational facts. It is becoming more and more a place where you…
San Francisco McDonalds Shifts Focus from Food to Toys
SAN FRANCISCO, California (Glossy News) – With the recent call of progressive groups in San Francisco demanding that McDonald’s no longer be allowed to include a toy with every happy meal, the company has shifted focus away from food and…
Cape Ground Squirrel Study: Masturbation Necessary to Avoid STDs
A recent study has concluded that male Cape ground squirrels have a reason for being one of the most prolific wanking species on the planet. They are ensuring the healthiness of their privates. One has to wonder if these study…
Baywatch Beauty Pam Anderson Cited For EPA Violations
Seedy Falls, CO – Pam Anderson, noted for being an environmentalist and animal rights activist, as well as a past Baywatch bimbo, recently purchased several hundred acres of pristine land, near Glenwood Springs, Colorado. Anderson hopes to use the tract…
Jehovah’s Witness Probe Widens, Officials Going Door-to-Door
Tallahatchie County DA Kirk Shatner gazes into the distance when pressed on his crusade against the Jehovah Witness organization. “Oh yeah, I know what some people say. That I’m picking on an unpopular minority in blatant appeal to the fundamental…