Scientists: Bugs In Rugs — Not Snug

DENVER, Colorado (GlossyNews) — Insect research at Denver University has determined that a common saying is incorrect and that there is no such thing as being “as snug as a bug in a rug.” The phrase, which is generally taken to mean tucked in tight and toasty warm is not true, according to Dr. Sam Whitemeal.

“First, one must look at the average rug. A rug is a smaller piece, generally not covering a full room like a carpet. A rug is also usually not shag, so is not thick and full; it is often flat with a pattern. Rugs are also located on a floor and, unlike carpet, do not have installed padding underneath.”

“This means that rugs have a lesser layer of insulation between them and the floor than carpeting. Since everyone knows that warm air rises and that it is colder on or next to the floor, this means that a rug will be cooler than a carpet and much cooler than anything at a higher level in the room.”

“Rugs are also sometimes taken outside and beaten with a broom to remove all of the dust, especially during spring cleaning. This does not happen with a carpet, as it is permanently attached to the floor. It is hard to be snug when you face the possibility of being hung out on a clothes line and beaten from your location with a broom, where you might fall to the ground and be eaten by a passing bird.”

“Now, when we compare the size of the bug to the size of the rug, it is obvious that the rug will always be many hundreds of times larger. The word snug implies being tucked in or tight, an an insect sitting on a large surface is neither tucked in or tight. It is exposed and uncovered.”

“Ergo, a bug in a rug is not snug.”

“It might be able to be snug in shag carpet if the bug was small enough and was able to roll up within some of the fibers, but shag carpet and a rug are two different things.”

The University announced that it is also seeking funds to prove that people cannot be “like two peas in a pod” and that little girls are really not made of “sugar and spice and everything nice.”

If you are looking for a good rug which you can keep in your homes check out Southwestern Rugs Depot.

Author: Cletus Broken Feather

Cletus Broken Feather is the "Redneck Injun." He's too busy cowtipping Hereford Whitefaces to take the time to write an autobiography. Cletus calls himself "The Redneck Injun" instead of the "Redneck Redskin" cuz he ain't much of a Redskin fan. He admits a likin' for the Cowboys in the NFL, even though that don't seem to be natural.

2 thoughts on “Scientists: Bugs In Rugs — Not Snug

  1. How about..’All’s well that ends well’
    C’mon! I mean, look I’ve had endings where things weren’t actually hunky-dory you know! Or that other one…’A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush’ Now, what in blue blazes does that mean?

    Just saying, you know.

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