Posted in Politics

Boehner Boned – Sources Report Complete Liver Failure

Dayton, OH – John Boehner, the house minority leader, except inasmuch as he’s never represented a minority, is suffering from advanced liver disease, according to a medical billing rep at his primary care doctor’s office in Dayton, Ohio. This is…

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Posted in Television Top Stories

FlashForward Cancelled, and Five Reasons Why That’s Good

The high-budget ABC sci-fi less-than-thriller known as Flashforward has been canceled, and by a few accounts, it’s a tragedy. By many more accounts, however it’s a good thing, and here are just five of the biggest reasons why that’s actually…

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Posted in Crime

Tax Refunds Revealed as Giant Ponzi Scheme

Washington, DC (GlossyNews) — Investigators have uncovered a multi-trillion dollar financial fraud so massive and widespread it has victimized nearly every household in America for decades. According to investigators the so-called “Tax Refund Pyramid” employs many of the same techniques…

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Posted in Top Stories

France, Tired Of American Jokes, Takes Back Statue Of Liberty.

Paris, France – France, tired of taking all the crap that it has gotten from the U.S., has retaliated by taking back the Statue of Liberty, once a gift from them. Ever since Bush started the Iraqi war and called…

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Posted in Television

Here’s How American Idol Can Save (or ruin) the 2011 Season

American Idol easily established itself as a ratings powerhouse in its first season, but now that Paula has left the show, and Simon has likewise finished his last show (though for very different reasons,) the viability of the franchise is…

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Posted in Human Interest

Realtor Can’t Suppress Laughter while Showing Rush Limbaugh’s Manhattan Condo

New York, NY – By now, most people have seen the news that Rush Limbaugh is selling his New York Penthouse condo and moving out of New York due to the high rise in taxes. He said he would move…

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Posted in Crime

Homeless “Hippie” and Dogs Arrested for Selling Marijuana to Teens

Venice Beach, CA (GlossyNews) — A local homeless man arrested yesterday has been charged with grand theft auto and selling marijuana to minors, according to police. Shaggy Rogers, known only as “Shaggy” on the street, was arrested after propositioning an undercover…

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Posted in Top Stories

Coal Mine Canaries Plan Protest Over Working Conditions

Weirton, WVa – A group of canaries have put their tiny talons down once and for all and are claiming they have the most hazardous job in the world and should have a place in line for various government concessions….

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Posted in Entertainment

Paul McCartney Ruled Dead

The Hague, Netherlands (GlossynEUs) — The EU Commission for Historicity today rendered a long awaited verdict on the status of Sir Paul McCartney. The EUCMA investigation was prompted after renewed controversy spawned by audio tapes purportedly from the late George…

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