Month: April 2010
Bi-onic Woman Tells All
In a Glossy News exclusive, 70’s icon Jamie Summers spoke recently about career, relationships, and long held secrets. It was a brief but very moving interview. GN: Jamie, please explain the timing on announcing your bisexuality? JS: Well, I watched…
Neo-Nazis Deny Closet Homosexuality
Los Angeles, CA (BNSE) — A contentious rally of Neo-Nazis in central Los Angeles erupted into laughter earlier this week as Fascist supporting speakers vehemently denied taunts from hundreds of assembled protesters accusing them of closet homosexuality. “We are not…
Huckabee Apologizes to Zombies
Fort Smith, Ark-Kansas (GlossyNews) — Following a storm of controversy, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee today released a press statement seeking to clarify his recent Zombie remarks, in what was seen by many as electoral politics damage control. “In a…
Detroit to be Bulldozed and Replaced with World’s Largest Mall
Detroit, MI (GlossyNews) -– In what was hailed as an extreme but necessary move by the Mayor of Detroit, work has begun in planning the total destruction and re-building of Detroit, this time as a shopping mall, not a city….
Obama White House Loosens Up — Starts Gangsta Fridays
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — In a knee-jerk reaction to the accusation by Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) that the Obama Presidency was a “Gangster Government,” President Obama has decided to call her bluff and issue an executive order to his staff that…
Huckabee Compares Werewolves to Zombies
Fort Smith, Ark-Kansas (GlossyNews) — Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee hasn’t announced his plans for 2012, but the FOX News commenter has lately been stressing his cultural values credentials. Speaking this week to UC Berkeley’s College Republican Union, Huckabee hit…
Is the iPad Right-Sizing Technology (Again)?
Utah, Behind the Zion Curtain (GlossyNews) — The iPad sucks. Whew, there, I said it, let the games begin. The iPad – single tasking handheld tablet computer that has the ability to enter local area networks and the internet, along…
NRA Rushes Arms To Help Beleaguered Mexican Drug Cartels
Boca Raton, NM (GlossyNews) — The National Rifle Association, (NRA), ever at hand to aid the munitionally deprived, is running to the aid of drug cartels in Northern Mexico. Noting that they are in need of arms and ammunition, they…
Democrats Reaching Out to Werewolves
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — Speaker Pelosi this week followed triumph with triumph, again displaying her political acumen by securing the coveted Werewolf vote. The move stunned even Pelosi’s harshest critics speechless, shaking their heads in grudging admiration. A visibly euphoric…