Bi-onic Woman Tells All

In a Glossy News exclusive, 70’s icon Jamie Summers spoke recently about career, relationships, and long held secrets. It was a brief but very moving interview.

GN: Jamie, please explain the timing on announcing your bisexuality?
JS: Well, I watched this thing with Meredith (Baxter) having to rush to beat the tabloids and that was sad.
GN: Yeah, Meredith Baxter; I read that. So, did you gals ever do it?
JS: I’m not going to answer that.
GN: Well I’ll just put down: Sommers smiled slyly and purred ‘no comment.’
JS: Watch out.
GN: I’ll rephrase the question. IF Meredith and you were at a party and had some drinks, would you do it with her? Cause I sure would.

The interview was briefly interrupted while this reporter was thrown across the room.

GN: Let me shift topics a little Jamie. How do you think fans will react to your news?
JS: I think they’ll be supportive. After all, we sort of grew up together. These are more accepting times.
GN: Was your same-sex attraction ever a stress on your several marriages?
JS: Who can say for sure? In any marriage, there are currents we’re barely aware of. I can categorically say I never cheated. In between marriages I had a few special relationships with women I’m still very fond of.
GN: Like who? How about a name? What are you, saving the good stuff for your book?

Ms. Sommers grew visibly angry, probably recalling a failed affair, maybe with TV’s Wonder Woman. When she spoke her voice was suddenly loud.

JS: Get out of my house, now! This interview is over!
GN: All right, but hey, can I have a lamp? One lamp, how ‘bout it? I mean, you got lots of lamps; you’re filthy rich.

The always professional Sommers was quick to suppress the angry memory of Wonder Woman’s treachery and regain her composure. She smiled slyly, and her voice took on a purring quality.

JS: Oh darn, I wish! But I donate my lamps to kids with cancer. I hate to cut this short, but I’ve such a packed schedule today. Here, let me show you through the door.

Author: Liberties-Taken

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.