Month: April 2010
Lawyers Clash in Gay Purity Case
Las Vegas, NV (GlossyGaySports) Legal scholars hint that far reaching precedent may be the outcome of Dan Steele vs. Gay Bowling League America, set for opening arguments next week. At issue is GBLA’s stripping Steele of his 2009 championship, but…
Magician Makes Rape Charges Disappear
Bellevue, WA (GlossyNews) — Mega-famous showman and Illusionist Oliver Twist has done it again. Known for both traditional stage magic and his signature landmark disappearance performances, Twist this week displayed his mastery of the craft by making a Civil Suit…
Order Restored After Outbreak of Hypochondria
New Glarus, WI (GlossyNews) — Normalcy has returned to this Midwestern town, after a tense weekend some won’t forget. According to sources, trouble began when Insurance salesman Howard Sprague left work with a bad cold on Thursday. Flora Baker, owner…
Democrats Turn to Religion to Pray for Palin’s Demise
San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — “I never thought I would pray for somebody to flat-out die,“ said liberal turned Christian, Marty Hayes. “But I’ve been praying hard for this one. I can’t stand to hear Palin’s voice, it sounds like…
The ‘Lady Who Does That’ Suddenly Quits — Creating Office Chaos
Carla Waters, known around the office as “The Lady Who Does That,” is really not there today. Her departure has created mass confusion and outright hysteria among the customer service department of Bulger, Inc. Waters, who worked for Bulger for…
Gough Whitlam — The Australian Obama?
Sydney, NSW, Australia (GlossyNews) — President Obama would do well to try to emulate the successes that former Australian Prime Minister Gough Whitlam had in his first 100 days of office back in 1972. He ended the draft and removed…
Fellas, Check Those Tattoos, Chinese May Have Last Laugh
More and more stories are coming out of small tattoo parlors in every Chinatown from New York to San Francisco about authentic Chinese tattoo artists who have recently decided to have a little fun with what they perceive as the…
Passengers To Clean Airline Cabins, Toilets
Chicago, IL (GlossyNews) — Complex merger talks now underway between United Airlines, Continental Airlines and US Airways include a landmark cost-cutting measure that will require passengers to clean the aircraft cabin and lavatories before leaving the plane. “These discussions are…
Phoenix Woman Totally Responsible for Mortgage Meltdown
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — After a week of hearings with representatives, CEO’s and Government officials at the helm when the world economy was brought to the brink by sneaky and deceptive criminal activity, Congress has ruled that the responsibility for…