Month: February 2010
Psychic Killed Over Bad Fortune – Whoa, Who Saw that Coming?
Bob Crane’s Murder Now Ruled Difficult and Lengthy Suicide
Bob Crane was an American disc jockey and actor, best known for his performance as Colonel Robert E. Hogan in the television sitcom Hogan’s Heroes, which ran from 1965 to 1971. Crane appeared in a number of other career-crushing shows,…
Journalism Facing a New Dilema- Outsourcing
A new financial horror for professional English language writers has come about. It seems that in our modern times even written articles are being outsourced to other countries. Publishers on a number of freelance writers’ websites are requesting 500-page written…
Science Nears Cure for Pat Robertson
Pat Robertson, the famed televangelist, remains hospitalized with mysterious needle-like pains that grow worse every time he mentions Haiti, earthquake or Voodoo. The medical world continues to be baffled by the odd pathology. Actor Hugh Laurie of the popular “House”…
Brittany Murphy Had Several More “Films” in the Works
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Brittany Murphy was a hardworking actress who was juggling multiple movie projects in the months leading up to her unexpected death, according to Hollywood sources. “This is truly a loss,” lamented Norgay Pfifflebother, an expert on homemade…
Pope: “You Go to War w/ Salvation Army You Have, Not Salvation Army You Want”
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — The Salvation Army was founded in 1865. Its first converts were alcoholics, heroin addicts, prostitutes and other “undesirables” unwelcome in polite Christian society. And for nearly 150 years, these undesirables have been running one of the…
Tiger Woods No Longer Wants Sex
Number One golfer Tiger Woods, and the doctors treating him for sex addiction, claim he has made a complete recovery and no longer has any desire for sex at all. Woods admitted himself into a sex rehab center in Hattiesburg,…
Democrats Declare 36-Month Hiatus to Bask in Waning Minutes of Glory
House Democrats, ostensibly “led” by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, have decided to sit out the rest of their lame-duck majority, citing “difficulty in passing any legislation at all,” now that minority Republicans have announced their determination to filibuster every…
Kevin Smith Silently Kicked Out of Ceasar’s Buffet
Patrick Kennedy Retires to Spend More Time on Facebook
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Patrick Joseph Kennedy II, who has represented Rhode Island’s 1st congressional district since 1995, has announced that he will not seek reelection. Mr. Kennedy, 42, has wrestled with alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and drug abuse, both recreational and…