Democrats Declare 36-Month Hiatus to Bask in Waning Minutes of Glory

House Democrats, ostensibly “led” by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, have decided to sit out the rest of their lame-duck majority, citing “difficulty in passing any legislation at all,” now that minority Republicans have announced their determination to filibuster every bill they see, even those they personally co-sponsor, sponsor or introduce.

“We made it clear from the get-go,” explains uncommonly orange tan-man John Boner, “We voted down the bill to extend the digital television deadline as our first order of business, and all that did was screw over a huge majority of our ‘real American’ constituents, those in rural areas.”

Nancy Pelosi loudly murmured through the morbid death mask she calls her face, “I’m going to Disneyland!”

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.