Month: January 2010
2010 Winter Olympics — Sold Out to the Highest Bidder?
This scene was captured by one of our authors last week, but we can’t publish it under her name because she was subsequently disqualified for using performance enhancing substances. We will still publish it, but we can’t give her credit,…
An Audacious Attempt at Haitian Relief Efforts
The headlines read: “Americans Held Taking Children from Haiti.” It then goes on to report that a group of 10 Baptists mostly from Idaho, but also from Texas and Kansas formed the “Haitian Orphan Rescue Mission” in order to go…
Dear Hank: Sweets for My Sweets Making Them Obese
Dear Hank, I’ve got a real problem. I’m considering taking a walk down the aisle for the 4th time and I already know how it’s going to end…in divorce. Why? Because I am the one responsible for the merry-go-round that…
GOP Expects Death Star Fully Operational Prior to 2012 Elections
Hard-core Republicans, also known in some circles as the ‘Evil Empire’, plan to have their Death Star fully operational by the 2012 election. The Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire…
Kate Gosselin on TLC: Taming of the Shrewd
The long-awaited news has finally arrived. TLC has just announced the name and format for Kate’s solo show, sans Jon and Kids. The show is tentatively named Kate: TheTaming of the Shrewd, and it features Kate each week being employed…
Jesus Puts Population of Heaven at 150, Tops
WEST CHESTER, PA. – The civilized world was gobsmacked yesterday by Jesus’ off-hand remark that there are roughly 150 people in heaven. That’s 1-to-the-5-plus-0, period, the population of septic fields like Armpit, New Mexico, and Chowder Falls, Wisconsin. If your…
MTV Snared in Illegal Promotion Pact with Perez Hilton
If you’d looked at this a year ago, you’d have found that Perez Hilton was either a no-talent ass-clown or one of the biggest trend-setter bloggers in the western world. But if you look at him today you’ll find he’s…
Pope Benedict XVI Declares War on Wet Dreams
VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI, who threatened condom users in Africa with excommunication last year, is now taking aim on wet dreams. In an encyclical entitled God Owns the Night the supreme pontiff warned Catholics that they “cannot seek…
Salinger Grocery Lists to be Published
The literary world was shocked this week by news of J.D. Salinger’s death. Author of the iconic coming of age tale Catcher in the Rye, Salinger died at his New Hampshire home, aged 91. The non-literary world was shocked that…
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