Month: November 2009
Ask Hank: No Stranger to Prison, Just Strange
Dear Hank, I’m a regular guy, I keep to my business and do work when I can. How come I keep getting arrested? -Frisked in Fresno Dear Frisked, Since you don’t really say what you are being arrested for, I…
Huckabee Secret Meeting With Robertson Revealed
Virginia Beach, Va. – Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee met in secret with Dr. Pat Robertson at his Regent University offices recently, and we’ve got the exclusive on this private meeting. At first glance, the meeting would seem to have been…
Brazilian Brickie Returns from the Dead
A 69-year-old Brazilian man surprised the virtual ’life’ out of the entire family by turning up, albeit a bit late, for his own funeral, according to a bizarre report on page 85 of this week’s Resurrection Gazette. Family and relatives…
Remembrance Sunday: Lest We Forget, You Know, Stuff
It is Sunday, November 8th and though Remembrance Day officially falls on the 11th of the month – to recall the end of World War One on that date in 1918 (and too the timely demise of Kaiser Bill’s Imperial…
Expenses Scandal MP Blames Hitler n’ Jews
In a novel reverse psychology play on Jewish pogroms and the Nazi Holohoax David Wilshire, the disgraced UK Conservative MP for Scumford-on-the-Wold, has compared the excommunicative treatment of politicians over their dodgy (fraudulent) expense claims to the plight of Jews…
FDA Approve Female ‘Viagra’, 4-hr Erection Notice Remains
Worry not ladies, the medical profession now unanimously accepts that it’s not your fault you no longer have the insatiable libido of a 17-year-old nympho’ and don’t ‘sexperience’ multiple juice-gushing orgasms every time you get yourself off with a rampant…
Depressing Office Filled With Depressing Looking People
MANHATTAN, NY. – Despite talks of economic recession, the Tristis corporate headquarters on Whitehall Street is very proud to display 35 stories of boring and lackluster architectural design populated by a depressed, overworked, and underpaid staff.
Big Brother Builds Armpit Sniffer
A hi-technology device that can detect human fear through the medium of ‘smelling’ it is being developed by British scientists and could soon be sniffing out the body odours of anxious terrorists – or shoplifters, welfare benefit cheats, the chronically…
Christmas Light De-tangling Contest Erupts in Violence
Holy Smokes, VA – The first annual Christmas lights de-tangling contest held at the local BPOE lodge was interrupted late in the evening when one of the contestants, Harvey Smith, pulled a gun on fellow contestant, John Houdini, accusing him…
The Funny Side of WW2 – Que?
According to a recent survey undertaken by the government’s Ministry for Wasting Time and Money the British youth of the 21st Century are possessed by a plethora of misconceptions concerning Germany, World War Two, the Nazi party and the Holohoax….