Month: November 2009
Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road
According to research just published in the British Journal of Aesthetic Twatology the latest craze to displace the tanning parlour cult of looking like a darkie immigrant and contracting melanoma is undergoing surgery to create perfect vulval genitalia. No really,…
CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture
According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan. Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of…
Obama Mastering Asian Arm Control
SINGAPORE, ASIA — US President Barack Obama shows every intent of mastering Arm Control Photo-ops (ACP-op) over Singapore’s PM Lee Hsien Loong, as seen here in our photo at the left. Once officially documented, Obama plans to continue on with…
Army Honors Pig War Veterans
In observance of of Veteran’s Day, Army Chief of Staff General George W. Casey presided over a ceremony at Fort Benning, Georgia today, honoring “our nations greatest heroes,” by which of course he meant the veterans of the infamous 1859…
Merry Bloody Christmas with Call of Duty, Modern Warfare
The long wait is finally over for video game aficionados and those chronically addicted and desperate to get their hands on a copy of Call of Duty : Modern Warfare Mk 2 – the festive season’s latest release for a…
Grandpa Arrested for Calling Spade a “Damn Spade”
Has the E-USSR bestowing Big Brother Gestapo-style powers on the UK’s local council bureaucratic jobsworths and their PFI housing association gophers gone totally to their heads? Do you believe the adage that power tends to corrupt – but those of…
The Madman Strategy of International Relations
The lessons that can be drawn towards the current Middle-East Peace Process The nuclear alert was based on a diplomacy-supporting stratagem Nixon called the Madman Theory, or “the principle of the threat of excessive force.” Nixon was convinced that his…
Guinness Record for Nor-Kor Lady Driver
A North Korean woman is celebrating after passing her written theory and vehicle maintenance exam for a driving licence – on her 950th attempt – and too received a telegram from the Guinness World Records Book congratulating her. After sixty…
Pub Crawl Criticized as Destruction Derby for Livers
A High Court judge sitting at the Old Bailey went totally ballistic and spit the dummy yesterday concerning the supposed ‘professional’ activities of a leisure company titled Carnage UK which organises drink-fuelled nights out for undergraduate student hooligans – one…
Charles L. Wang extended biography
I lived a good life – a hard one, but I sleep peacefully at night knowing that I have made a difference in someone’s life…