Expenses Scandal MP Blames Hitler n’ Jews

In a novel reverse psychology play on Jewish pogroms and the Nazi Holohoax David Wilshire, the disgraced UK Conservative MP for Scumford-on-the-Wold, has compared the excommunicative treatment of politicians over their dodgy (fraudulent) expense claims to the plight of Jews in Nazi Germany.

Wilshire – who was forced to resign after paying more than £100,000 in expenses to his own company – Fiddling Gits Inc. – told a reporter from the Scumbags Gazette that, according to his own mumbo-jumbo topsy-turvy rhetoric, the “witch hunt” against MPs for misappropriating public funds through filing felonious expense claims “will undermine democracy.”

Going one further with his numpty invective he added “Branding a whole group of people as undesirables led to Hitler’s gas chambers,” – as if indicating that was the next step (don’t we just wish) for the scores of swindling, shameless, scandalised MPs who will be formally ejected from the House of Conmans at the next General Election and barred from running after being caught ‘in fragrante delicto’ with their sticky fat fingers in the public till.

The Tory MP has since further abused his office expenses to write to all his constituents defending his claims of innocence and attacking The Daily Shitraker for laying bare the expenses scandal when it first exposed the dodgy claims made by ‘Duck Island Don’ – the Tory MP for East Villany.

Voters in his Scumford-on-the-Wold constituency were shocked to receive a two-hundred page letter, written on House of Conmans notepaper and sent using taxpayer-funded pre-paid envelopes, in which Wilshire claimed to be devastated at having to stand down and lose his massive salary, pension and perks – simply for fiddling a ‘few bob’.

One Scumford constituent, Jacko McScrunt, who e-mailed to protest Wilshire’s felonious behaviour received a most confusing reply in which Wilshire compared MPs whose claims were exposed during the expenses scandal to the Jewish Holohoax victims purportedly gassed by the Nazis at Auschwitz and similar theme park vacation centres.

Mr. McScrunt told Fux News “I reckon old Wilshire’s gone a bit loopy in the head since getting’ caught wiv his sticky fingers in the cookie jar an’losin’ his job.”

“But that’s wot yer get fer breakin’ the 11th Commandment : Thou Shalt Not Get Found Out .”

“The whole bunch of ‘em, they’ve fallen victim ter their own avarice an’ greed – an’ now yer got Wilshire tryin’ ter make excuses.”

“Sorry matey, yer f*cked up right royally an’ yer real lucky yer ain’t goin’ ter prison like regular criminals do fer embezzlement – an’ end up sharing a cell wiv half a dozen horny sodomite twats wots got nowt better ter do than use yer as their new bitch til yer arsehole wears out.”

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via TheSatireStall.Blogspot.com