Posted in World News

Mandelson-Scandalson Touted as Next Labour PM

This weekend, for the first time in British history since Liberal PM Archibald Primrose (Lord Rosebery) went fin-to-fin with Iceland in the 1895 Cod War, we have three prime ministers presiding over the country at once. – all of whom…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mandelson-Scandalson Touted as Next Labour PM
Posted in World News

Rhubarbie Mugabe Joining EU – Que?

Robert Rhubarbie – the 126-year old bonkers dictator and President Forever of basket case Zimbabwe in Darkest Africa, has been in talks with EU officials about having sanctions lifted – and joining the EU itself.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Rhubarbie Mugabe Joining EU – Que?
Posted in Politics

Congress Recognizes Its Own Bipartisan Sexuality (Bisexuality?)

Washington DC – The studies have been released and the news sure isn’t pretty. Both houses of Congress – the Senate and the Representatives– have been shown to come up short dealing with their own bisexuality.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Congress Recognizes Its Own Bipartisan Sexuality (Bisexuality?)
Posted in Kidz Zone War Zone

Brownie Guides Now Terrorist Suspects

Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Brownie Guides Now Terrorist Suspects
Posted in Health

Bed Sharing ‘Bad for your Health’, Says Bummer Council

The results of a three year survey commissioned by the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money has concluded couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health (mental as well as physical) and overall emotional relationship.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bed Sharing ‘Bad for your Health’, Says Bummer Council
Posted in Health Society

GOP Leader Tells Cancer Victim to “Beg for Charity”

US House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-Va.) wins the award for Scumbag Politician of the Week – a widely contested prize around Congress these past few years – with both Democrats and Republics running neck and neck in the qualifying…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! GOP Leader Tells Cancer Victim to “Beg for Charity”
Posted in Politics Top Stories

UK Attorney-General to Prosecute Self – Que?

British Slime Minister Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown and his merry band of sycophantic bottom feeders at No 10 Downing Street today pronounced to an unruly mob of scandal-frenzied hacks from the Daily Shitraker and the Rumourmonger’s Gazette that they maintained “full…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! UK Attorney-General to Prosecute Self – Que?
Posted in Making Headlines

Dems Whip Dems to Filibuster Dem Legislation

By the time the Democratic proposal hit the floor, Harry Reid had already ensured enough Dems would vote to filibuster their own legislation.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dems Whip Dems to Filibuster Dem Legislation
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn

It was meant to be a day of global reconciliation, when the new Kenyan Messiah of the Free World (sic) would miraculously wipe clean the slate of the past eight years of Neo-Colonial Imperialist US hatred and herald an era…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn
Posted in Biz News

Geithner’s Pie Chart Shows “Increase” (in quotation marks)

Washington, DC — In an amazing, some would say astounding, turn of events in the world, the Treasury pie chart has begun to show increases. Not quite enough to erase the decreases that have plagued our country – nay, the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Geithner’s Pie Chart Shows “Increase” (in quotation marks)
Posted in Internets Tubes Technology

Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council

A family of dodgy Balkan refugees who tried to lure back a lost dog by leaving a trail of their own urine around the streets near their home have been criticised by the town council as a bunch of irresponsible…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council
Posted in Top Stories World News

Greedshite Bank Bids to Buy All United Kingdom’s Roads

A radical avarice-inspired plan to rake in £100 billion by privatising the UK’s motorway and trunk road networks has been exposed – blowing wide open the criminal details of a series of covert sneaky attempts to corruptly influence ranking members…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Greedshite Bank Bids to Buy All United Kingdom’s Roads
Posted in Human Interest Strange People

Yob Fined for Getting Cat Stoned on Ganja

A teenage yob who was filmed on a mobile phone forcing a neighbour’s terrified tomcat to inhale cannabis while captive in a clear plastic laundry bag – before swinging it round his head like a Gaucho’s bolas – was slapped…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Yob Fined for Getting Cat Stoned on Ganja
Posted in Health

Yob Artificial Brain Prototype Test OK

A detailed functional artificial human brain will be available on the National Health Service within the next year – if we don’t all die of Sneezy Pig virus this autumn – or the effects of the toxic anti-flu vaccine –…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Yob Artificial Brain Prototype Test OK
Posted in Kidz Zone Society

Garbage Men: (Cost) Effective Substitute for Teachers

Thousands of untrained staff – including night club bouncers, postmen, driving instructors and even binmen – are being used as “cheap labour” to cover for absent teachers according to a report leaked by disaffected snitches at the Ministry of Education.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Garbage Men: (Cost) Effective Substitute for Teachers
Posted in Health Society

Killer Biscuits Banned in EU Coffee Shops

The latest piece of asinine legislature to emerge from the EU’s Ministry for Wasting Time and Money in Brussels involves HSE risk assessments for every possible human function and endeavour – from brewing a cup of tea or coffee to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Killer Biscuits Banned in EU Coffee Shops
Posted in World News

Bad Times: Cory’s Curse Kicks in Big Time

Former Republic of the Philistines leader Cory Aquino, Asia’s first female president, died a couple of weeks ago at the age of 176. Aquino had been afflicted with a chronic case of ‘holier-than-thou’ syndrome for decades and been further suffering…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bad Times: Cory’s Curse Kicks in Big Time
Posted in Biz News Internets Tubes

Study Finds Courier Pigeon Out-Performs BT Broadband

BT’s wholly exaggerated 8 Mb/s broadband service promised to unite the world with super-fast data delivery – but across Britain it seems their web connection speed is markedly slower than a humble carrier pigeon.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Study Finds Courier Pigeon Out-Performs BT Broadband
Posted in Human Interest

Pensioner Crushed Under Pile of Old Tat

The body of an elderly shopaholic was found underneath piles of cut price car boot sales tat, chrome-plated bric-a-brac and other similar cheap materialistic crap and bling items – which crushed her to death, an inquest heard today at a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pensioner Crushed Under Pile of Old Tat
Posted in Politics Strange People

Palin to Cook eBay Auction $63.5K Fundraiser Dinner

WASILLA, ALASKA — A woman defense contractor in Huntsville, Ala., won the “Dangerous” Dining with Sarah Palin eBay auction — her bid was $63,500. Auction details only allow the winning bidder to bring three friends to the dinner. Palin’s spokeswoman…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Palin to Cook eBay Auction $63.5K Fundraiser Dinner