Category: Politics
Michelle Obama Wins Big Ass Award
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — Just a few weeks ago at the annual televised ‘Celebrity Judging Show,’ critics awarded President Barack Hussein Obama’s wife, Michelle, the coveted ‘Really Big Ass of the Year’ award. Hundreds of Hollywood’s elite gathered at a…
Pelosi Vows to Shorten Abortion Waiting Period to a Year
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois (GlossyNews) — With the advent of National Socialized Medicine, Democratic supporters squeaked in a provision that allows free abortions upon demand for any women who desires one. Cited as free choice and a right of all women, the…
Cheney and Bush in Parallel Universe Experience The Revolutionary War
WALT DISNEY WORLD, Florida (GlossyNews) — In a parallel universe to ours, one which resembles ours in every respect except times and situations are rearranged, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush find themselves back in Boston at the time of…
Michele Bachman, Unaware of Y2k, Attacks Bill Clinton
CROOKSTON, Minnesota (GlossyNews) — The Republican Party, frequently criticized for being behind the times and completely devoid of new ideas, has taken yet another strategy from Newt Gingrich’s 1994 GOP Playbook. Michele Bachmann, one of the most prominent she-publican fundraisers,…
GOP Pledges Rich Can Get Richer, Sick Can Die Broke
Wornolde Points, Ohio (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. News organizations around the world are analyzing the political, economic and policy implications of the recently released GOP “Pledge to America.” But the story doesn’t end there….
Dems Cope w/ Mid-Term Electile Dysfunction – Viagra In Short Supply
Webster’s Dictionary recently added a new phrase that pretty much sums up the problems facing the Democratic Party today as the important mid-term elections roll ever closer. Eloquently said, the new phrase has captured the imagination of conservative pundits as…
Pelosi Plans Grand Canyon Sale to Chinese to Balance Budget
Washington, DC – (Glossy News Exclusive!) In a shocking turn-around for American taxpayers seeking debt relief, Treasury officials announced a sweeping step-by-step plan to eliminate the nation’s debt held by foreign governments. Secretary Paulus Franks gave reporters details on the…
Pelosi Rampant Blinking Deciphered As Secret Code To UFO Mothership
Agents at the NSA have finally broken an ultra secret code that has thwarted the intelligence agency for almost 25 years. The suspect breach of national security was discovered during a Congressional speech that was televised in 1985. The 45…
Tea Party Slams “Elitist” D.C. Table Manners
Twin Dorks, NV (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. In a blistering attack on the “political elitism that is destroying America” Nevada Senate candidate and Tea Party favorite Sharron Angle slammed the “fancy table manners in…
Christine O’Donnell Not Happy About Fielding Witch Jokes
When Christine O’Donnell of Delaware won the election to run for a United States Senate seat on the GOP ticket, she was all smiles, but it didn’t take long for the bones in her closet to start rattling. The biggest…