Category: Politics
House Really Falls On California Witch
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (Glossy News) — “Right out of a movie” would be the best way to describe the recent events that plagued former Speaker of the House and part-time witch, Nancy Pelosi. On Tuesday, the “House” hit her squarely…
Pres. Candidate Tryhol Proposes Legislation to Payoff Nat’l Debt
Newbie Presidential candidate Bargis Tryhol, who narrowly missed his 2010 presidential window, has created his first piece of legislation in hopes of curbing the spiraling US debt. Tryhol hopes to place the bill before the Senate Leader some time in…
Deposed Pelosi Hostage Crisis Continues
It began as a beautiful Autumnal morning in our nation’s capitol, but at this writing many probably wonder if they’ll survive the day. Those close to speaker Pelosi have told Glossy News they’ve never known her to act out like…
Michelle Begs Barack ‘No More Teleprompter at Dinner Table’
Things were a little tense last week when President and first-father, Barack Obama, sat down at the family dinner table and appeared to be somewhat speechless. This was the first family dinner since Michelle laid down the law and told…
‘Do Over’ Planned As Britain Finally Challenges Revolutionary War Outcome
Citing dissatisfaction over the outcome of the Revolutionary War, the British Crown has decided that a ‘do-over’ would be in best interests of both countries. In order to spark a bit of controversy, her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has arranged…
Republicans Earn Oscar Nod for ‘Best Act Put On By A Political Organization’
The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences Committee has nominated the Republican Party for a special judges Oscar this year, ‘Best Act Put On By A Political Organization.’ Mrs. Tallulah Bankaccount, head of the board overseeing nominations, stated “The…
Tennessee’s Jackass Race Still Too Close to Call
Insiders have always watched Tennessee elections closely. The reasons for this scrutiny are varied. Partly, it’s the famous axiom ‘As Tennessee goes, so goes Kentucky usually.’ More than that though, the Volunteer state has always provided America with a cornucopia…
Despite Strong Support, Prop 19 Fails Due to Inaction, Dude
LOS ANGELES, CA – GlossyNews.com – Supporters of Proposition 19, which would have legalized, taxed and regulated the sale and use of marijuana in California, promised more action in future elections after suffering a defeat on either Tuesday or Wednesday…
Orange Man Boehner Delights Chinese Business Leaders, Disappoints Constituents
DAYTON, Ohio (Glossy News) –The Chinese, often characterized as “the yellow race,” have found a new friend in a man whose face color reminds them of their grandfathers when angered — orange. There is an old saying in China that…
Open Letter to Undermining, Commie-Pinko Socialists
IMPORTANT – IF YOU ARE NOT A CARD CARRYING MEMBER OF “CONFEDERATION OF SOCIALISTS INTENT ON BRINGING DOWN THE CAPITALIST DRAGON AMERICA”, THEN DO NOT READ THIS… Comrades! The situation is dire! Our plans lay fast in rubble before us!…