Category: Top Stories
Supreme Court Judge
10am, Albuquerque: In a move likely to lead to mass shootings within the US Postal service, a record 743 million Americans have already mailed in their ballots ahead of the November presidential election. “743 million is an odd number, so it’s obviously all…
“It’s a Metaphor for Like… Life,” Explains Stoned Teen
Friday, 12:40 P.M. THROOP, PA – Kyle Wexler, a local teen who had been smoking pot, explained to a group of bewildered family members who were watching “The Wheel of Fortune” that the popular game show hosted by Pat Sajak,…
Title: Bye, bye, Ruthie, bye, bye! A Loving Tribute to RBG!
Title: Bye, bye, Ruthie, bye, bye! A Loving Tribute to RBG! By Mark Wilt mlookw@hotmail.com I turned on the TV to watch the final shindig for that Judge Ginsburg woman. She did a lot for women and girls, I guess. Nobody…
Trump Reassures America of His Admiration of the Armed Forces by Starting a War with Iran
WASHINGTON, DC– Today, President Trump announced that he would declare war on the Islamic Republic of Iran in an effort to prove his dedication to and reverence of the US military, following accusations that he repeatedly maligning dead soldiers. Under…
Will the result of the presidential election bring greater stability to the US?
It’s been a bit of a topsy-turvy time for US politics in recent months. Even before the coronavirus pandemic sent shockwaves around the world and created hysteria in politics, the US were dealing with the bitter impeachment charges which had…
Confession: If Trump Were Catholic
“Bless me, Father, . . . ” “Yes, my son? Remember the words? ‘For I have sinned.’” “Sorry you’ve sinned too, but, frankly, even our buddy on St. Pete’s throne needs to get great again. Infallible? C’mon! Sometimes I think he’s a…
Trumpisms 11.0
376 As Trump continues to stink in the polls, of course he will try to discredit them. He doesn’t believe in the North Poll or the South Poll. Even the polls of Polland are fake news. 377 Beware of shaving…
THE GREAT EMANSTURBATOR
Donald Trump insists he has done more for African Americans than any other president. Read his tweet on the subject: “Many people don’t know this about me. Lincoln didn’t free the slaves. I DID. First thing I did behind the…
US Military Mounts Four-Pronged Offensive to Obliterate Water Wastage
WASHINTON D.C– Today, Secretary of the Department of Defense Mark Esper unveiled a strategic offensive to counteract the growing threat of excessive water usage. Sec. Esper noted that the US intelligence community have issued recent reports on the link between…
Delaware Senator Chris Coons CANCELLED over Racist Surname
SUSSEX COUNTY, DELAWARE– The junior senator from Delaware, Chris Coons, held a press conference to formally announce reconciliation with the new wave of racial justice protests surrounding his last name. Profusely apologizing to white people on social media, Sen. Coons…