Getting ready for the day he leaves office, (which might not be far away), President-Select Trump has a whole host of ghost-written books all ready for publication to make sure he stays in the public spotlight long after the Oval Office lights fade. (Also to make sure the mullah keeps rolling in; he is getting up there in years, after all!)
Maybe You Can’t Fool All The People All The Time, But I Am Going To Give It a Try Any Way.
The Power of Obnoxiousness – An Awesome Tool To Becoming To Gaining Power And Becoming Really Rich.
As President, I Am The Biggest Winner Of All And You Are All Losers. Read more The Great American Novel Has Finally Been Written! Which of Trump’s New Books Is It?
The NRA, reeling after the public notice of their being cash strapped as of late, have decided to expand their financial base of interests to survive. Since their specialized focus of interest are items of destruction it only follows that their business interests would reflect that.
The National Rifle Association bought up 30% of Dow/DuPont’s holdings in napalm, the flesh burning gel made famous and popular during the Vietnam War for adding more inhumanity to an already inhuman war. When asked why the NRA chose this particular substance to put money into, the answer given by a spokesman (the NRA does not believe in ‘spokespersons’) was that:
It can git (sic) the people hiding that bullits (sic) can’t! Sance (sic) the NRA at its roots is about killin’ (sic) fur (sic) fun, why not include napalm, a time-tested, proven fun killer?
Also heavily invested into was flesh-eating bacteria, a somewhat strange choice as the horrible disease that has deprived people of their limbs and lives has no apparent market value, and science has not found a cure or preventive for it. Again, a spokesman has stated:
While there is as yet not a commercially viable use for it, an imaginative person could come up with all sorts of creative uses for it…
This had a quieting effect on the minds of the audience listening, and a collective gasp once the full meaning of this answer settled in.
Land mines, a throwback to an icon of the last two World Wars, is making a comeback in less developed lands; the NRA. being keen on developing financial opportunities in other countries, has seized on it. When asked if any of these newly invested mines would be used to hurt American soldiers the answer was.
Of course we don’t want our boys to get hurt by them, but once they leave our warehouses we can’t be responsible for whosever hands they end up in, just like handguns.
An ironical statement if there ever was one.
An even further throwback- guillotines- has also caught the organization’s wandering eye and wallet.
They may seem very archaic, but when it comes to causing human misery and violent death, it is hard to ignore this device’s impact. And, as every one knows, we are really into anything that has to do with violence!
Heroin and meth rate highly on the NRA’s investment program as, kilo for kilo, these normally illegal drugs are one of the most profitable commodities there are. The NRA also promises to fight as viciously and mercilessly as they do already with guns to get these substances legalized.
After all, it is all about the freedom!
again stated their very hard working and seemingly ethic-less spokesman. An added side venture is that in entering a business territory normally dominated by violent cartels, the NRA’s investment would greatly help out their semi-automatic and automatic gun sales.
Stock shares in Agent Orange have gone up since the NRA invested millions into it. The defunct and illegal chemical agent responsible for horrifying deformities in Vietnam is now getting a fresh life despite it being forbidden by almost every country on earth.
We will see about changing that…
stated the NRA’s formidable chief lawyer with a wink and a nod.
Lastly, the NRA also has put opt stock options on opening up the market for medieval torture devices from the Inquisition just because they thought they were really cool.
Cometh the hour, cometh the man!
Time to break free from the Brussels Taliban!
Don’t drop the cognac, a hangover’s coming…
Guy and Jean-Claude, now they better start running!
No more bent bananas and made up oppressions
No more censorship and manufactured microaggressions
We will be manufacturing half the world
Now shut up and let us get on with your Exodus, you little turds! Read more Moggxodus: An Ode to Britain’s Prophet, & Our Future Exodus from Brussels!
Glossy News has plenty of great satirists!
And many of them have written books; hence the handy guide below. (Keep reading!)
The following is not, of course, an exhaustive list of the books by our various funny people.
However, we will indeed do a few more of these articles occasionally! Read more If you Don’t Laugh, You’ll Cry! Chase the Demons Away with these Great Books from Our AMAZING Satire Team!
It’s only fair to say that despite persistent bitching and grievancemongering to the contrary, the gig economy services website Fiverr is actually quite a good way of boosting your income. Indeed, as with Patreon, some people have gone much further than beer money, and have actually brought in a prettty tidy sum each month. Read more Should Satirists Consider Fiverr or Not?
My Gang of Sneers satire series already has four volumes!
We all know that Amazon is a huge market in general.
Indeed, one leading US politician has said it’s too big! Read more Beautiful New Cover for Political Satire Book!
Yesterday, I spoke a bit about satire sites across the world; many of which you may not have heard of yet.
My Faking News (India), Charlie Hebdo and Le Canard enchaîné (France), The Ulster Fry (Northern Ireland) and Waterford Whispers (the Republic of Ireland). Read more Fascists, Populists and Red-Tops: Three Marvellous Stories on an Indian Satire Site!
Although we just had a lot of commentary today, most of our stuff is straightforward satire. Here are a few links for you to save, if you enjoy our work. Every share helps! Read more Some Useful Links for Fans of Our Satire
How can satirists and comedians make money? Read more Satirists & Comedians: Ways of Boosting Your Profile & Income
Here’s a selection of the great satire stories coming over the next few days:
rfreed with a VERY nasty satire on some even nastier NRA conspirators!
Let’s get crypto crazy, baby! Read more What’s Coming Next on Glossy News?
Dateline: MONTREAL—Comedians gathered around an enormous round table at the World Comedy Festival to try to answer once and for all the perennial question of whether satire is supposed to be serious or funny.
According to the comedian Lawrence Flappapuss, satire is mainly about making people laugh. “Satirists make fun of things, so satire’s got to be funny,” he said. “Satire should be as funny as physical comedy. That’s why I combine the two in my act.”
Read more Comedians Debate the Nature of Satire