ROCKY MOUNT, NC – A 37-year old unemployed factory worker turned humor blogger is reportedly thrilled by recent praise his previously unknown humor blog has received. Avowed bachelor and longtime fan of Wheel of Fortune, Buford Quigley told reporters today that he is “as happy as a dead pig in sunshine” over the overwhelming positive response his humor blog is receiving – almost exclusively from internet spammers. Read the full story

John Aholi, a writer from Hoboken, New Jersey, has had his fair share of days trying to squeeze out short stories to post on his semi-successful blog “The John.” But now, thanks to a new product called Writer Fiber, the words are flowing on The John with little to no effort at all.” Read the full story

Today, Goofus and Gallant tackle the tricky issue of healthcare in the United States. Is it right, left or just plain wrong? Many say it is, but to which is the real question, and the answer to that is also yes.

Here weighing in on the matter with a point/counter-point is our old friends Goofus and Gallant.

While the views expressed below are solely that of the author, we might point out that they are, in fact, correct, and anyone who disagrees should post hateful rhetoric in the comments below. Read the full story

“God I hate banks,” said the young businessman who was taking his lunch hour to deposit his pay cheque while the company he had started with worked out the details of his direct depositing.

“Why the hell do we have to wait in line for three goddamn hours to put our money in their banks so they can make money off of us? I should be able to do this on my phone. *%&%, I can practically drive my phone but I can’t put money in the bank? Bull%&%#, I call bull@!&#.” Read the full story

Montpelier, VERMONT—Governor Peter Shumlin signed into law yesterday an Arizona-style bill to stop the immigration of know-it-all writers who are overcrowding the state’s MFA programs and forcing the state to create even more jobs that the writers are sure to be overqualified for once they realize no one wants to read their screenplay. Read the full story

British PM David Cameron today admitted that “in the clearest possible terms” Britain is currently stretched to breaking point.

Military involvement in Iraq, Afghanistan, and now Libya have undoubtedly taken a heavy toll on available resources, and the financial squeeze has resulted in Britain having no ships in its navy and no planes in its air force.

Add to this the crippling cost of welfare payments to the workshy, not to mention an exodus of wealthy retirees to the Spanish Costas, and the inevitable result is the implosion of a nation. Read the full story

Reports are just creeping in that an idiot of a satirist, who regularly plagues internet websites with a tide of absolute nonsense in the name of humour, forgot to post any gems of wit, wisdom, or deception on April Fools Day.

The idiotic satirist, who can’t be named here for illegal reasons, admitted that April Fools Day had completely slipped his vacant mind. Read the full story

If imitation truly is the sincerest form of flattery, then this recently noticed Glossy News site in Romania means we’ve truly made it. If it doesn’t, however, Dracula owes me some blood, because I’ve been running this mare hard for 9-years, and even Vlad the Impaler better pay me some props. Read the full story

Following a precipitous plummet in readership, the once formidable political satire site Glossynews announced today that it will be merging with Twitter to create internet’s the first 140 character satire site.  Glossynews found itself in trouble shortly after insisting on well-edited pieces, much to the ire of thousands of aspiring writers who produced copious amounts of material for the site. Read the full story

DUNCAN, OK (Glossynews)– A local satire writer has been found dead in front of his home from multiple gunshot wounds. The assault apparently took place late last night. Police aren’t releasing any information, but several alleged eyewitnesses who prefer to remain anonymous claim the man was gunned down by a masked gang of turkeys.

Likely wild. Initial reports of it being a gaggle of geese have since been disproved. While many are still skeptical about the details, evidence and shell casings gathered at the scene point towards some possibility of fowl play. Read the full story

NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. (Glossy News) — K. S. Trojan, famous author of “All Things Funny” is going after her alter ego for penning several pornographic poems without her knowledge or permission, and publishing them under the name Krazy K.

Asked how Ms. Trojan discovered the poems or learned that they were written by her alter ego, she merely stated that she found the poems hidden in a file in her word processing program, entitled “naughty bits.” When she opened one of them, Trojan could not believe her eyes. There in print were some of her deepest, darkest secrets — things only she could have known. Read the full story

Halloween will soon be upon us. Here are some simple tips that should help keep the holiday safe and fun for everyone.

1. When planning your children’s trick-or-treating route, stick to residential neighborhoods. Try to avoid deserted industrial areas, construction sites, and toxic waste dumps.

2. Novelty contact lenses can add a new dimension to a Halloween costume. Please get yours from a licensed eye care professional; resist the temptation to create your own using an empty plastic water bottle, a razor blade, and a set of colored markers. Read the full story

The saying goes “There is more than one way to skin a cat.” No, this isn’t a funny story about a cat. I know, I know, for all you cat lovers out there, maybe there will be one soon, but for now, this is not where to look.

Conan O’Brien once said “During last night’s debate…Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.” It didn’t happen, of course. Edwards turned out to be even more heterosexual than we’d originally thought, Read the full story

Washington, D.C. (GlossyNews) -– Fur continues to fly over what some claim are very divisive comments by White House reporter Helen Thomas regarding Israel’s presence in Palestine. While Helen has apologized to everyone regarding the flap, the issue is just not going away and now she is losing speaking engagements because of it. Thomas is reportedly blaming a certain satire site for the insensitive comments made on video. Read the full story

Foxpeter Grove, MD (GlossyNews) — The Onion, America’s premier satire and humor newspaper, shocked the literary world today by publishing an issue of ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORIES!

The US’s flagship smart-ass site today reported on several newsworthy incidents that actually happened. On page two, the Great O reported on a woman who, about to take a snort of cocaine found that the powder formed a perfect picture of the Virgin Mary. The woman, however, was a devout Buddhist (except for snorting cocaine) and snorted it up anyway. Read the full story

Satire is a notable medium, and it’s thus called because it’s neither rare nor well done, and well, we see a lot of new entries into the game each week, but few so clever as TheBabyDictionary.com. They do things a bit different than us, and a bit subtler at that, and they serve the genre well. Read the full story