Tag Archive | "Donald Trump"

‘I Was A Professional Racing Driver in my Youth!’ Claims Donald Trump

There are concerns for Donald Trump’s mental stability in the wake of his most recent interview with Sky News. The US president told the interviewer: Read the full story


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President Trump’s Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist

Dateline: LICK SKILLET, TN—Democrats should be grateful for Donald Trump’s presidency, because his smorgasbord of scandals and villainies could theoretically enable them to get away with murder for centuries to come, according to Professor Marco Snodgrass, political pseudoscientist as the Machiavellian Institute, in Tennessee.
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Donald Trump Never Said That! DEAL WITH IT!

Donald Trump has recently ‘refuted’ allegations that he didn’t not say what you didn’t already know he didn’t say. Read the full story


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Donald Trump Tells Press: I’m Not the Mad One!

At a press conference in Washington, US president Donald Trump has spoken about the media’s smear campaign that has labelled him as ‘a madman.’ Trump said:

I’m not the mad one folks, it’s fake news. Read the full story


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Will Trump’s Presidency be Worse than 9/11?

This is a short movie I made about whether Trump’s presidency will end up being more traumatic for Americans than was 9/11. It’s meant as serious commentary, but the video includes what I hope are some amusing moments.
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Sarah Huckabee-Sanders Unveils New “Talk To the Hand” Rapid-Response System

Trump and White House apologist Sarah Huckabee-Sanders has gone from eager apologist to wholly soulless sack of human garbage in less time than a newfound junkie has, but today she’s taken it to a new level.

“Talk to the hand!” said the internally and extrenally ugly daughter of Arkansas governor Mike (anything for approval) Huckabee. Read the full story


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North Koreans Score a Victory Before The Olympic Games Even Begin

Chances like this didn’t come very often. Especially in cash poor, politically isolated North Korea.

The plan to overlook political differences and cash in on the once in a millennium chance to be in the Olympics caused Kim Jong Un to forgo his nuclear rants with his Anglo doppelganger in the U.S. conquistador seat of power. Here was the chance to control events in America in a way the Russians could not even dream of.

His sister was to sit directly behind the Vice President of the United States at the Olympic Opening ceremony.

Directly behind…

This was an opportunity made in Heaven – or, in Jong Un’s case, a chance made in Hell. He now had the chance to bring down the US from within.

He himself would not go to the Olympics. There was too great a risk of assassination. The media attention would be too much as well. He could handle the overly staged photo shoots he managed from within his hermit kingdom; but in the South, there were those technologically advanced cameras that for all he knew might have the ability to photograph him naked through his clothes. The thought of nude photos of himself dropped as propaganda from enemy planes high over head made him shudder.

He would have his sister go. The bitch needed to start earning her keep and not be prancing around Paris spending more money in a day than the average peasant in North Korea could afford in their whole lives. She would do the dirty work.

From her position behind Pence she would firstly blow a micro-dart through a straw into his neck, that would render him unable to notice the violations of his space he would soon be experiencing. Then she would pour a biological dust down the collar of his jacket that over time would invade his body and shut down the creative and higher functions of his brain, leaving him with the mental abilities he had, basically; but unable to think creatively. She would then sneak microchips into the submarine sandwich that he brought with him because he was afraid of eating Korean food. These would eventually lodge in his brain. These chips would feed messages to him unconsciously via microphones, run by North Korean agents stationed in Washington D.C. These agents would broadcast information to his weakened brain, directing him to do their bidding.

Jong Un rubbed his hands in joy. He now had his own Manchurian Candidate in the White House itself, ready to execute his will. The first thing to do – have Pence suggest giving aid to them in money, food and military equipment. Second – sever US ties with South Korea. Third – have those two obnoxious actors who made fun of him in the movie The Interview publicly executed.

Unfortunately for them, the plot did not work. Pence’s higher mental facilities were already shut down from years of hyper-conservative upbringing and whatever little he had leftover were soon annihilated from serving on the Trump administration. Also, being used to putting up with annoying reporters and protesters, Pence had an inner instinctual mechanism for shutting out the messages from the Korean agents. The whole venture was a wasted effort.

Except for the drug in the micro-dart. It had a longer lasting effect that no one expected. For days thereafter Pence had a smile on his face, hugged gay athletes, was actually nice to people and lost the fossilized frozen look on his face. At least for a while….


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What’s Coming Next on Glossy News?

What’s your favourite 2018 Glossy News story so far?

January highlights include:

The UK government’s attempts to clamp down on ‘Fake News’ backfire. Read the full story


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Republications Tomorrow from Another Great Satire Outlet: & Should You Cut or Grow the Pie?

I’ve written for many satire outlets in the past. One of the first ones I ever wrote for, apart from Glossy News (remember to like our Facebook page!) is The Spoof. Read the full story


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Mainstream News Anchor Proves he Understands Trump’s Presidency by Repeatedly Punching Himself in Face

Dateline: ATLANTA—A newly hired news anchor at CNN, Guy Hoogetsit, has criticized his colleagues at the cable news station for failing to understand the point of Donald Trump’s election, and maintains that the only way for members of the corporate media to properly report on President Trump is to simultaneously hit themselves repeatedly in the face. Read the full story


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20% of UK Undergraduates Have a More Limited Vocabulary than Donald Trump

Donald Trump is generally known for having a meagre vocabulary.

But recent sociological research has shown that Donald J. Trump still maintains a slight edge over the bottom 20% of university graduates in the UK. Read the full story


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Wacky Friends Parodies (III): Dictators

The bizarrely-named ‘Hitler Trolls’ have a whole slew of dictators!

This time, instead of Nazis alone (as with the video from a few days ago by a different creator), we have Stalin, Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump. Read the full story


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Trump Shocker: “Won’t Sign on for Second Season Playing the President”

President Donald Trump announced today that he would not “sign on for a second season playing the President.” Trump admitted that the role of U.S. President was more challenging than he had ever imagined, and his previous acting experience had not fully prepared him for the part. Read the full story


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Donald Trump Bursts

U.S. president Donald Trump has sensationally burst during a Washington press conference. Read the full story


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World’s Religious Leaders Pray for President Trump’s Comeuppance, to Restore God’s Good Name

Dateline: CALCUTTA—Religious leaders all over the world are praying for Donald Trump’s comeuppance. Read the full story


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