Trump to Take Starring Role in New Marvel Movie ‘The Incredible Sulk’

Those that lie awake at night worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump when he is dragged kicking and screaming from The White House in January can at last get some shut eye.

A spokesperson for Walt Disney Studios, Mr Michael Mouse, announced yesterday that a new movie has been commissioned in the Marvel franchise, with a new superhero called The Incredible Sulk. It also confirmed that Donald Trump has accepted the role of the main character, Dr Steve Bannon, for an undisclosed fee believed to be in excess of $90m.

“We are absolutely delighted that Donnie-Boy has accepted our offer. He is perfect for the part. All he has to do is just be himself,” crowed Mouse.

When the outline of the story was released to the hastily assembled press pack, not one single journalist was surprised that Trump had been asked to star in the movie, all agreeing he was perfect for the role.

The outline of the story is this:

Dr Steve Bannon, an ultra-right wing disc jockey, political agitator and vagabond is persuaded to run for president in 2016. Despite being universally loathed he wins due to election rigging by a Russian gangster called Vladiwell Putitin (a name shamelessly stolen from the upcoming movie MAD). Bannon serves as president for four years during which he nearly destroys democracy both in America and worldwide.

The character of Dr Bannon is portrayed as a narcissistic, incompetent, racist, misogynistic, adulterous, crooked compulsive liar, a role perfectly suited to Trump.

However, in the 2020 election, Bannon loses by a landslide to the Democrat hopeful, a nun called Sister Dithery (again a character shamelessly filched from the MAD movie). Whilst the election is demonstrably shown in the movie as fair and the result legitimate, Bannon refuses to accept losing. He clings on to power until finally an elite squad from the Marines has to raid The White House to forcibly remove Bannon from office.

All the above is covered in the first ten minutes of the three-hour ten-minute movie. Ejected from The White House, Trump cuts a pathetic figure standing alone on the sidewalk with a cardboard box that holds all his worldly possessions.

Suddenly a massive rage overwhelms the fat idiot. In moments he undergoes a bizarre metamorphosis. His porcine body swells to several times his original size, tearing off all his clothes except those that cover his tiny genitals (they stay as they are). His skin turns green. He has become a monster.

Bannon then stomps off to his old radio station, breaks down the walls, takes over the microphone and then starts broadcasting again, whining on about how the election was rigged against him, and how he is the real president, and that it’s everyone else’s fault but his, and blah, blah, blah for the remaining three hours of the movie.

Disney will not be drawn on how the movie ends but say there’s a twist in the tale.

It was unanimous throughout the press pack that this will be the first monumental flop in the Marvel movie franchise, one worthy of a massive body swerve in favour of ‘Mars Needs Moms’ a movie with a shortfall of over $110m.

Author: David Smith

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