Search Results for: obama
Ten Great Reasons to Join ISIS!
Greetings and salutations dysfunctional Western youth. God is great and so are you! We are ISIS and we are looking for a few good martyrs! Are you that special person who is destined to do great things for a great…
Clinton vs Weiner: The Democrats Are Screwed?
Where are we and how did we get here? I am paraphrasing the words of Jim Stockdale in the 1992 US Vice Presidential debate. Those are also the words much of the American electorate asks near Election Day. A sure…
Is a Libertarian Vote for Trump Unconscionable?
The US Presidential Election is upon us. Faced with a binary choice, a Libertarian would rightly consider voting for Mr Trump over Secretary Clinton. Ask yourself which of the two “candidates” has a proven track record of choosing war? Was…
Republicans Praised for Reducing Stigma for Psychopaths
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–The National Institute of Mental Health congratulated the Republican Party for helping to accustom Americans to those with mental illness, by elevating obvious psychopaths to positions of high office. Doctor Fernando Lamas, chairman of the Institute, said at…
Pokemon-Go Craze Puts U.S. Elections in Doubt
NEW YORK – The incredibly addictive Pokemon-Go app, which has sent countless millions of people out into the world to stare at their cell phones more than ever, has now put the U.S. Presidential elections in doubt. Current CNN polls…
Trump’s Efforts to Lose the Election Continue to Falter
[Author’s Note: Glossy News’ Tim Jones was granted an exclusive interview with Donald Trump. He asked the Republican presidential nominee how he could still be running neck and neck with Hillary Clinton despite his repeated instances of inflammatory rhetoric and…
Breaking News: USA Votes to Leave North America
(Washington, D.C.) In the wake of Great Britain’s recent populist-led decision to leave the European Union, momentum gathered quickly for the United States to follow suit. In a flurry of referendum-lobbying activity, spurred on primarily by Donald Trump and his…
Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (3/3)
And the utter soul-destroying horseshit goes on. So, what else do we know about Moderate Daesh? Well, the Moderate Daeshis, just like their fellow MPIs (Moderate Political Islamists) the Muslim Brotherhood, always wear a condom… Even when they are plunging…
Genetic history mapped: Trump full of Neanderthal DNA
Recently, scientists at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute at Harvard Medical School have analyzed DNA from prehistory, to discover large population shifts ranging from 45,000-7,000 years ago. Scientist David Reich concluded that these changes in prehistoric human populations directly correlate…
Dear American Refugees, Welcome to Canada
Greetings, American Refugees, On behalf of the people of Canada, we would like to welcome you to our country. We hope you’ll enjoy your stay. We’re starting to worry about your nation’s apparent complete psychological breakdown. You were doing so…