Categorized | Politics, War Zone

Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (3/3)

Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (3/3)

And the utter soul-destroying horseshit goes on.

So, what else do we know about Moderate Daesh? Well, the Moderate Daeshis, just like their fellow MPIs (Moderate Political Islamists) the Muslim Brotherhood, always wear a condom…

Even when they are plunging the fear of God into the besuffered little children who are coming unto them, rather than into full grown men and big boys and their upright plastic Johnsons like you and me!!!

Moderate Daeshis, just like their fellow MPI counterparts in Tunisia, do not believe in torturing alcohol sellers to death.

Nah! A nice clean blow that cleaves the head in seconds (or at the very most, and only in the most vicious and inexcusably egregious cases of treacherous and sub-Obama-esque beermongering), a short and sweet five-minute sawing of the neck is probably OK, I guess!

I mean well hey, frickin’ knock yourself out! You just can’t be picky about allies when it comes to this shit!


Talk about wading through treacle, huh?!

Still, for just this once in her life, Hillary Clinton is deeply dissatisfied.

‘That seems rather equivocal and evasive to me,’ she hisses.


This re-leak originally burst out on Satirical Industrial Complex. Although Dick’s endless gushing and salty language made me a little frustrated at first, I’ve decided to extent this original Big-Daddy-O in size, swelling it until it encompasses the entire gaping hole in our backyard, uh, back catalog.

So, I’m hoping some of you will follow with a veritable explosion of artistic naughtiness of your own! I mean, believe it or not, Dick is a really, really nice guy!

However… as prominent Glossy News journo Mr Kilroy has pointed out in his article “4 out of 5 Republicans in Anonymous Survey Prefer Dick,” he’s not exactly flavor of the month, as things stand.

Or fall.

Or drop.

Just goes to show how shameless Dick waving always has its limitations, right?!


This post was written by

- who has written 549 posts on

Sub-editor of Glossy News. Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon. Make sure you like the Glossy News and Wallace Runnymede pages on Facebook!


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